


After Midnight

by starsdontdisappear



Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Meet-Ugly, Romance, Romantic Fluff, University, alternative universe, calm toru, eots taka, mlf toru, overacting taka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 14:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17582717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsdontdisappear/pseuds/starsdontdisappear
Summary: In no way did Taka ever imagine that his 1-week stay in Osaka would lead him to several mishaps he never thought he would experience in his entire life.





	1. Meet Ugly

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fanfic in such a long time since 2009 or something. This is also my first Toruka fanfiction, so everything feels new to me. I welcome all comments and criticisms very openly, so if you happen to come across this weak-ass fanfiction, please do leave a comment/comments. Thank you! :)

In no way did Taka ever imagine that his 1-week stay in Osaka would lead him to several mishaps he never thought he would experience in his entire life.

He just hopped off the train to Osaka from Tokyo, carrying his luggage along with his guitar in a guitar case in his other hand. It was already winter, and he looked even smaller in his black winter wear, walking along the streets in Namba looking for a place to eat dinner. He isn’t so used with walking alone, let alone in a place far from home, but one of his friends had promised him that she had booked him an entire acoustic set in a bar in Osaka City. It was a chance he couldn’t possibly deny himself of considering the fact that he needed more money in his savings account to fly to Los Angeles without his parents hovering over him and his every decision. After all, he is 23 and very much an adult. He had enough time to stuff his stomach before heading to the apartment he rented for a week, which was just a few minute away from the bar via train.

In a packed ramen house in Dotonbori, Taka settled his luggage and guitar by his side as he spoke a gentle “itadakimasu” before stuffing his mouth with noodles and soup. The place is popular in Osaka, and everyone could observe the considerable amount of people coming in and out of the store. It was winter after all, and the hot ramen broth always complements the winter air outside. Taka didn’t want to admit it, but he sort of missed his parents and brothers in Tokyo. But they wouldn’t stop taking over his life. He was already 23, with a degree in music his father believes he wouldn’t profit from, and haven’t gotten romantically involved with any women he encountered in college. And that’s what worried his mother the most.

Before he left this morning, his mother was very adamant that he needed to find a girlfriend while he’s away.  
“Kansai girls are very sweet, dear,” she told him as she hugged him, tapped his back, and attempted to plant a kiss on his forehead. He let out a soft laugh, not wanting to hurt his mother’s feelings by ignoring her, and nodded in agreement.

“Maybe I’ll bring home three girlfriends then,” he jested, to which his dad reacted with a hit on his head.  
Then they all said their goodbyes to each other as he rode the taxi to the train station where he would take the ride to Osaka, and maybe get the best week of his life yet.  
But it turned out differently.  


It was almost sunset and he was downing the complimentary hot tea given to him when all of a sudden, a man sat across from him in his table. He was sure they could be at the same age, or maybe the man was a year or two older than him. The moment was puzzling and he could hear the sounds of laughter from the other tables so loudly, everything seemed so vivid in his ears, but he kept his eyes on the man in front of him. He was dressed so similar to him. The man had a blonde hair, so light it was almost white, which almost covered some parts of the side of his face. He had a defined jaw line, tall nose, thin lips, but his eyes looked dead underneath the thick glasses he was wearing. They stared at each other for a few seconds until Taka averted his gaze and observed the man’s right hand tapping on the table.

“Please laugh,” the man said. His voice was so deep it almost frightened Taka.

Oh my God, am I being scammed right now? He thought to himself, trying so hard not to make it obvious that he was feeling uneasy.

“What? Why?” Taka asked in confusion. And out of reflex, he was already holding a glass ready to hit the man in case he does something funny.

“Just please laugh. Two men will come into this restaurant, and when they do, I will laugh and you will follow after me,” the man pleaded. “Please.”

“I really don’t understand—“ he was cut off by the man’s gleeful laughter as two men passed by them, one of which had a slightly long wavy hair, the other had a bleached shorter hair. The man was covering his face with his hands; his fingers adorned with vintage rings. Taka pretended to laugh along, afraid.

“Hey, this place is too loud. No way Toru would come in here,” one of the men said.

“His father is going to kill us when he finds out we let him go again,” the other responded, scratching his head in irritation. “Why couldn’t he just follow his father? He’s putting our friendship with him in danger.”

“Toru will soon come along. Maybe that girl wasn’t just the right one for him? Geez I cancelled plans so I could hang out with you guys after Toru’s nth omiai, and now we’re both out here looking for a lost boy,” the man complained again.

After that, the two men left the store, but not without thanking the store owner.

Taka looked questionably at the man across from him who was now being served a bowl of ramen.

“Hey, I don’t know you, and this has been really confusing. Are you a con artist? Are you scamming me or something? I’m not a rich man; I don’t have a lot of money that you can take,” Taka started blabbing as soon as the man devoured his food.

The man seemed so stressed with all the talking from Taka, so he grabbed something from the pocket of his coat. His wallet. In a fast movement, he laid three different cards on the table—bank cards. “I don’t need your money,” he calmly responded.

Taka was dumbfounded at that.

“I’m hungry. My friends are probably still outside, so can you please just stay for a minute while I finish this? I’ll pay for your meal, too. Don’t worry,” He sounded nothing less like a brat in Taka’s ears, and right there and then he concluded if he was going to be involved with such a man, he’d be nothing but trouble. So he stood up quickly, gathered his precious belongings, and gave a plastic smile to the man in front of him.

“Thank you but I can pay for my food,” he said, struggling to fix his winter coat around his left arm.

“No no no, wait for me,” the man rushed to finish his bowl of ramen and even chugged his hot tea, and walked after Taka who was already heading to the cashier.

“Look,” Taka stopped to look at the man, “I don’t know you, and this is making me feel so uncomfortable. Really. You’re strange.” Out of his bag, he fished for his wallet and handed a bill to the lady cashier who looked astonished as her eyes darted towards the man with blonde hair.

_Huh. ___

____

The man gave his bank card to the woman who had an intense blush on both her cheeks.

“I’ll pay for both.”

To his dismay, the lady said that the restaurant was a cash-only store.

“Fuck,” he whispered to himself, but it was loud in Taka’s ear. “Uhh…”

Taka glared at him. And if looks could kill, the man would just drop dead right at that moment.

“Fucking kidding me.”

“I don’t have cash,” he said in a cute manner, with a sly smile on his face. “I’ll pay you when we meet again.”

“I didn’t come to Osaka for this,” he stared a little sharper at the man, getting another bill from his wallet to pay for their food and get it over with. “You look like you came from a wealthy family, but you come in here without a single cash with you!” Taka was running out of patience, but he has a heart so kind that he couldn’t resist helping the blonde guy. The blonde looked decent anyway so maybe he can trust him with this? But not so fast though.

“I’m Toru,” the blonde spoke again, but in an apologetic tone. He extended his hand towards Taka to formally introduce himself. “I’ll give you my number so we can meet again and I can pay you.” He smiled.

_Weird. ___

____

Taka whisked his hand away annoyed at the predicament they were in. The cashier lady kept smiling at Toru, and Taka didn’t have to wonder why because the blonde was undeniably charming underneath his hair and glasses. Must be his smile?

“No. It’s fine. I’m sure we’ll never meet again. Consider that a charity,” Taka snapped and picked up his guitar case and dragged his luggage behind him as he exited the establishment.  


He didn’t look back anymore as he started walking on the road heading to his rented apartment. It was reported earlier that the temperature tonight was at its lowest since winter had started, and as soon as he paused to blow warm air in his hand, he realized he had left his hand gloves in the ramen house because he was in a hurry.

“Shit,” he murmured. His hands started to feel numb in the cold, and he felt like an abandoned child surrounded by all these people. He wanted to cry, but he won’t because he’s a 23-year-old grown adult that won’t ever show weakness. Though he was already feeling alone at that moment, and a few yen poorer because some stranger conned him into paying for his meal. “I hate my life,” he wanted to scream.

He kept blowing warm air in his hand when he suddenly felt a hand on his right shoulder grabbing him. He jolted and looked behind him, swinging his arm to hit whoever it was.

“Oof- careful!” It was the blonde man.“You left your gloves in the ramen house. Here,” he handed the leather gloves to Taka.  
“Are you following me, you weirdo???”

“Yes! I mean, no!” Toru couldn’t decide which was which. “I didn’t intentionally follow you. But you left these on the table so I ran after you. It’s freezing I’m sure you need this.”

“Give me that!” He scowled as he swiftly took his gloves from the blonde. “Stop following me. You already tricked me into paying for your dinner. What else do you need, creep?”

Toru frowned at that. Me? A con? “I’m not a con artist. I was just…” his voice trailed. “I really wanted to pay for our food, but I didn’t bring cash with me,” he let out a soft laugh.

“I’m Toru by the way,” he introduced himself once again with a more sincere smile on his face. Taka was so sure he had never wanted to punch someone in the face until tonight.

“I am not obliged to tell you my name,” Taka deadpanned.

“Of course you’re not, and I understand that,” the blonde replied. “But I owe you a portion of my peace tonight, and money of course. Here’s my number, “ he handed Taka what seemed to be a business card of some sort. Huh.

For some unknown reason, Taka took the card and kept it in the pocket of his jeans. Toru was all smile, and it was blinding Taka to the point that he had to look around. The city lights got nothing on that bright smile.

He figured there was nothing wrong with examining the appearance of the guy in front of him. Toru is taller for sure, and has a lean figure. His has broad shoulders and long legs, and his hair seems so soft Taka almost wanted to touch it. But it was Toru’s eyes that really caught his attention. Despite the eyeglasses he was wearing, Toru couldn’t hide that there was something wrong with him. But Taka didn’t want to know that anymore. He doesn’t even know this man at all. He was just a stranger who needed his help a few minutes ago.

“Why did you ask me to laugh with you?” he asked out of nowhere.  
“Oh,” Toru paused, watching the shorter man put his hands in his gloves. “I ran away from another omiai, which I’m sure you’ve heard being mentioned by those two men a while ago.”  
“Omiai? People still do that now?” Taka was in disbelief. “I’ve heard better stories from people tricking other people for money.” He carried his guitar case again along with his luggage, and started walking away.  
“I…I can’t tell you everything right now. I’m sorry I caused you this trouble,” Toru apologized and walked the opposite way.  
Taka still couldn’t understand what had happened earlier. It was his first night in Osaka, but it felt like all his energy for the following days had been exhausted from that strange meeting.  


He laid his back on the futon settled on the tatami mat. The warm bath gave him the peace of mind he very much needed. Tomorrow he will meet his friend who managed to list his name among performers in a night bar. It was going to be his first time singing outside of school premises, and to actually gain money from his talent.  
As he was about to close his eyes to finally sleep in, flashes of the blonde guy’s image kept popping in his mind. It almost felt like their conversation (if it can be called as one) didn’t occur at all.

“Shit, was he only a phantom?” he felt crazy for talking to himself. “Was he a ghost??! The two men didn’t see him when they literally passed by him!” He panicked at his own thoughts. Suddenly, the studio apartment seemed to close in on him and he had trouble breathing. Or he was just being overdramatic. Whatever.

It was long after midnight, but his thoughts were growing.


	2. Not A Phantom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is it that Toru really wants in life?

It’s past midnight and Toru was sitting outside of a convenience store trying so hard to convince himself not to fall asleep on that spot as he gulped water, washing down the taste of alcohol in his mouth. He doesn’t like crowded places, but going in a speakeasy was a risk he wanted to take in the hopes of forgetting his misfortune that day. His parents had yet again set him up to an omiai with a daughter of a hotel owner. He wasn’t going to lose to his father in controlling his life, but he went with the flow and agreed to come with them. 

Toru remembered the strong scent of the woman who was introduced to him. It was sweet like fruits and fresh like the smell of nature in the morning. And he hated mornings. She was pretty, yes. But if it doesn’t spark anything, Toru wouldn’t plan on continuing such a stupid arrangement. After all, he might not also be the type of all these girls that has been introduced to him. Sure he was ridiculously charming, but charm doesn’t equate to kindness. A few moments later, he had excused himself to go to the washroom, scared that he’ll somehow catch the girl’s peculiarity that didn’t really match with his taste. That was when he noticed, when he looked through the vast glass window of the hotel restaurant, that his father also invited his two best friends with the intention of stopping him should he leave the omiai again. 

“They didn’t even hide?” he scoffed. 

And that was how he finally got to walk away from the omiai without his parents and friends noticing. 

On the way to Dotonbori, he bought himself a black winter coat and glasses as a sort of disguise. When he went out if the shop, he saw that his friends were already after him right across from the pedestrian lane. So he sprinted as fast as he could and camouflaged into the busy crowd, entered a random ramen house, ordered his meal, and looked around. 

Everybody was friends with everyone there. And for a brief moment, Toru felt so small, despite being tall, amongst the customers huddled in tables of four and five people. He roamed his eyes all over the place and saw one table where only a lone customer was seated. He knew he was being followed, and that they saw him coming inside of that ramen house. So he panicked, rushed to that table, and wasn’t clear with his thoughts when said, “please laugh.” 

Even Toru wanted to smack himself for doing that. And now, he’s trashed outside this convenience store waiting for his friend to come fetch him. He had a little too much alcohol this time, lamenting at how miserable he was. 

“Toru!” A man yelled his name. “Are you drunk?!”

“You think?” that sarcastic tone was unintentional. “Tomoya, how’s my dad? Do I get killed this time?”

“Nah. Ditching that girl who is the daughter to a company president still takes the cake,” Tomoya hysterically laughed as he recalled all the times Toru had run away from his omiai while helping Toru get up. “Why did you drink? You hate bars!”

“It was a speakeasy,” he explained. “I’m sorry for being such a pain again today.”

“Tell me when we get settled in my car, ne?” Tomoya responded and they started walking to the black, shiny car. 

Since Toru was heavy with alcohol, his mouth started running, telling Tomoya how much he hated the perfume of the girl from the omiai. But what he really considered as the deal breaker was the weird fact that the girl had already searched him in all his sns accounts, and was sending dirty messages to him while they were about to have dinner. Though she seemed so sweet in front of everybody, she had that dark side that Toru wasn’t ready for. So he decided that she still wasn’t the one. 

“I’m just not ready, Tomoya! I’m only 22! Nobody gets married at such a young age,” he complained.

“You’re not getting married now, dumbass!” Tomoya answered back with eyes focused on the road before him.

“I know! But really, why can’t I choose to marry who I want, without my parents taking over my life,” he said calmly and he wasn’t sure if he was about to cry in front if his friend. 

“I’m really tired.”

“You’re not even looking! When was the last time you dated anyone?” his friend took a peak of him through the rearview mirror.

“Nobody just really interests me now,” he paused, and suddenly came at Tomoya’s sit placing his right hand on Tomoya’s shoulder. “Tomoya, am I going to die single??!” he started fake-whining, and Tomoya was sure that Toru shouldn’t drink this much anymore anytime in the future.

“Stop it, Toru! You’re overreacting again!”

“Hey! Why don’t you bring me somewhere tomorrow? Maybe introduce me to some girls?”

“What?! You ran away from your omiai multiple times, and now you want me to introduce you to some girls?” Tomoya replied in confusion.

“That’s different. Omiai is for my dad’s business,” he answered, leaning his back against the seat. “I’ve decided that I want to meet new people now outside of my dad’s control. Please?” As if the puppy dog and pout would work on Tomoya.

“OK! Fine,” Tomoya surrendered. “This is you,” he pointed towards the gate. He’s home now, but not entirely ready for whatever punishment his dad is going to give him. 

The next day, Toru had to endure all the yelling he got from his dad who was so mad at him for wasting his time yet again. But even more so because it was his 10th omiai ever since, and he still hasn’t chosen a single girl from all those ladies they had set him up with. They were seated around the dining table for lunch, and Toru was suffering from a hangover.

“I didn’t even know you drink this much now?!” his mother sniffled.

Toru had his head down as his hands held on the glass of coffee. “I’m an adult, mom. Of course I drink,” he reverted.

“That’s not very good to look at, Toru,” his dad spoke to him and it stung in his chest. “Do you even know what you’re doing to yourself and to this family?”

Toru had enough of this conversation. Well, he doesn’t really know what he was doing anymore- not to himself and to his family. He stood up from his seat and went straight to his bedroom upstairs. 

As soon as he laid on the bed, he got his phone and dialled a number.

“Hello, Toru!” A jolly voice greeted from the opposite line.

“We’re still up later, ok?” he said.

“I didn’t think you’d remember, but sure, let’s meet somewhere,” Tomoya replied and dropped the call. 

Toru’s vision was whirling and he felt like death was coming closer to him as he massaged his forehead. But it pained him more knowing that he had disappointed his parents once again. What can he do? He had a life he wanted to live. Undeniably, Toru was a smart person and he was going to graduate with a degree in business management, manage his family’s numerous properties, and live the best time of his life.

_Huh._

What is he even talking about? Best time of his life? He doesn’t even know what he really wants yet. All his life, he followed his father’s orders and wishes. In the end, he would have dedicated all his life for his father’s dreams. But what about him? The least he could do was to run away from all the omiai his parents had set up for him and prevent them from taking over a part of his life that he needs to be left for him. He needs to feel, to cherish, to know what it’s like to care about someone. He wants to love. 

“Shit. I might still be drunk,” he spoke to himself and then wrapped himself with his blanket. He needed a good rest before hanging out with his friends tonight.

Taka strapped his guitar on his shoulders and placed a face mask around his mouth. His friend asked him to meet her at the bar that night. He can’t afford to be late on his first out-of-school gig ever so he decided to walk to the bar an hour earlier. The wind was chilly, but people still crowded the streets. 

He wore his earphones, humming along to the song he was supposed to sing later. He felt a little bit restless and nervous because what if nobody would enjoy his performance? Taka shivered at that thought. Everyone in his class adored his voice and talent so much. No way would the people in the bar think he’s bad. Right?

By 10:00pm, Taka was already at the entrance of the bar. To his surprise, there was a line just outside of it—people lining up to get into what seemed like a very popular bar in the area. Once again, he felt as if the earth would swallow him whole at the sight of all these people. His friend was nowhere to be found yet so decided to wait on the side by the entrance door where a bouncer was checking people’s id cards before getting in. 

He removed his face mask and hid it in the pocket of his jacket so his friend would recognize him immediately. While he waited, he took his phone and skimmed through the many messages his mother had been sending him since he arrived in Osaka. He dialed her number, and after two rings she immediately answered. 

“Mom, I’m at the venue now, waiting for my friend. The bar is pretty packed,” he started speaking. He could a hear a muffled sniffle from the opposite line, and concluded that his mother must be really feeling s proud of him now for still being alive on his own.

“Are you ok by yourself? Your father misses you, too,” she replied in a soft manner.

“I’ll only be gone for a week. Please wait for me,” he smiled after saying that and he wished his mother could see how happy he was now that he’s finally going to cross out one item from his bucket list.

“Tell us if you need anything. We’ll immediately come over there, you know that right?”

“Hai hai,” he responded in a dismissive tone before bidding goodbye to his mother. 

The line didn’t seem to end, he thought. It’s already 11pm and his friend still hasn’t arrived. He tried calling her, but nobody answered. Taka knew her for a long time and trusted her with his decisions, so there really was no reason to doubt her. There could be plenty of reasons why she was running late and no matter what it would be, he’d understand it and forgive her. But he’s been outside for an hour, it was freezing cold, and he needed a familiar face among this crowd. 

A group of friends got out of a black car in front of him. They were laughing with each other, but one of them didn’t seem to enjoy being taken to this particular bar. When the three men finally settled down, they straightened up and headed directly to the door entrance as they waved at the bouncer. But before they entered, one of these men paused and looked at Taka. 

It’s that blonde man, he thought and his grip on the sling of his guitar case became tighter. He’s real! 

“Hey!” the blonde man called out to him. Out of confusion, both his friends also stopped.

“Who’s that Toru?” his friend, who had a brown hair with blonde highlights, placed his arm around Toru’s shoulders.

Taka couldn’t answer back and he could hardly believe that for the second time, he’d meet this strange man again. Now it’s confirmed that he wasn’t just a phantom from yesterday. He’s real.

“Hey, do you remember me?” Toru spoke again. 

Of course Taka remembered him. Despite not wearing his disguise now, he still had the same sad, dead eyes. And that deep voice. How could he even forget?

“How could I forget?” he finally replied with a fake smile.

“I met him in the ramen house yesterday,” Toru spoke to the direction of his friends. “You remember my story?”

“Not the best story, haha!” Taka voiced out.

“Oh, Ryota thought it was funny you followed Toru’s request,” Tomoya said earning a soft smack on his stomach from Toru.

“Yea maybe it was funnier when your friend didn’t pay for his food,” Taka snapped and glared at Toru, after which he twiddled through his phone trying to contact his friend.

“Are you coming in? You can come with us,” Toru offered Taka. He noticed that Taka had his guitar with him which looked heavy on his shoulder. “You’re playing here?”

“No thanks, I’m waiting for something,” Taka said. “Also, were not friends.” He rolled his eyes at that.

Tomoya and Ryota laughed at how snappy the short man was, and it annoyed Taka even more being surrounded by these guys who seemed like they all have the luxuries in the world. Pfft.

Toru decided that there was no helping this man, and he really wanted to waste the night away with his friends. So the three of them went straight to the entrance door after giving the bouncer a high five.

Maybe they’re regulars here, he thought after seeing that.

A few minutes later, he could finally see his friend run towards his direction, panting for his dear life.

“Mai, you’re late! I almost froze to death here,” he complain as soon as Mai stepped foot in front of him.

“I’m sorry I got held back in my part time job. Let’s go in?” she tapped Taka’s shoulder and lead him to the entrance.

“You owe me a beer for being late,” Taka deadpanned.

“Hai hai. Your set is at 12:30am. It’s the peak hour, the number of customers increase by that time, so you better give your best,” Mai informed him and he nodded in agreement. 

He only had a few minutes to prepare himself. He looked around the bar and can see that the customers there were varied— people from middle class to those who looked like they live in a palace. But they’re all here to enjoy the food, drinks, company, and music. And judging from the crowd, this is one of the most popular places in the district.

A band was already playing on the stage, some people danced to there music on the dance floor, and Taka was at the backstage getting ready for his set.

“I can’t believe my set is after midnight,” he scowled to himself. “Guess I’ll be sleepless from now on.”

The sound from the band started to fade out, and it’s now Taka’s turn.


	3. A Somber Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka crosses off an item from his bucket list, while Toru continuous being a confusing piece of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez. I've only been writing/typing this on my phone. Apologies if the paragraphs tend to stick to each other, iykwim HAHA!

The moment Taka stepped on the stage for his acoustic session, his heart started to beat so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He needed to see a familiar face in order to calm down. He scanned through the crowd to look for Mai, but he knew she wouldn’t possibly be watching him since she’s got some bartending to do. At last, Taka’s eyes darted at the blonde guy with his two friends who were seated only a few feet from the stage. They came late but still was able to get a VIP area, and Taka thought one of them must be close to the bar’s owner. Toru’s eyes caught his gaze, and he flinched a little when he smiled at him with a smile so bright it was like the motherfucking sun. 

“Uhh, hello!” he started speaking, trying his best not to make it obvious that he was nervous in front of the crowd. “I’m Taka. I’ll be singing a few songs for you tonight. Hope you enjoy!” 

From the crowd, three men started cheering for him. 

Ever so slowly, he started to strum his guitar to a song so familiar and soft to the ears. But it wasn’t only his guitar playing that got the attention of some customers; it was his voice that blew them away. He closed his eyes feeling the words he was singing to the crowd, his mind floating through all those times he wished he could do this. He had longed to perform in front of many people, not for grades or for money, but to share to them his passion and to deliver it to them, and they will receive it openly. This was what he wanted all his life, and even when his father didn’t understand why, he let him be. And he was thankful. Now he’s here. 

He belted the long notes, pulled off the falsettos, all while strumming his guitar gracefully. The huge crowd was somehow getting lost from his vision. On the table a few feet from the stage, a man was being engulfed by this very moment of Taka singing his heart out as if unaware that everybody’s watching him now— feeling his every word. Toru couldn’t believe it at first, that this man was that good. It wasn’t right, but he judged Taka by his looks. He thought there was no way he’d be this good, but hearing him now changed all his assumptions. He felt bad for thinking lowly about someone else just because he had the lowest of self-esteem. No matter how hard he reflected, he couldn’t figure out what he was good at. Looking at Taka now, he felt a tinge of pang in his chest at the thought of never being able to feel this fulfilled; the way Taka probably did right now. He chugged his beer as he shook his negative thoughts away. The music was great. Taka has a voice of an angel, no doubt. No way would he let his negative emotions ruin his mood and night. He was going to live the best night tonight.

“Did you know he can sing this well?” Tomoya asked.

“No, man. How would I know? We only had a very short encounter,” Toru answered, removed his gaze away from Taka, and leaned back on his seat. 

Ryota elbowed Toru at that, “the crowd loves him. You think he’s going to perform here every night now?”

“Do you want me to ask my dad?” Toru asked rhetorically at which the two only laughed. 

“We can ask you, though. Ask the future owner of the bar,” Tomoya jested, but Toru wasn’t having it as he glared laser eyes towards the two of them. 

“Let’s not go there, please. I asked you to bring me somewhere to meet new people, but you brought me here instead,” he scowled and chugged his beer again. “Stop following my dad’s order anymore. I’m your friend, right?”

“Maa, maa, Toru. Don’t be dramatic. This place is the best in this area, and it’s owned by your family so everything is free for us,” Tomoya explained. 

“I can’t move without feeling like everyone, including the two of you, is watching me,” Toru replied. 

“Nee, Toru, nobody’s watching you, not us. Let us handle this for you, ok?” Ryota said with a naughty tone. “We’ll hook you up tonight for sure.”

Toru sighed and drank the rest of the beer in his glass. Taka was still on stage, singing his third and last song probably. The blonde continued to focus on him instead of his friends who were suddenly gone from their table, looking for his possible date that night. 

He started observing Taka afterwards, thinking that he had nothing else left to do while he waited for his friends. Taka was small, and he looked even smaller in his gigantic flannel shirt. But goddamn was he so talented. The last song was a ballad again; a love song from a foreign artist Toru had heard of many times. It played well in his ears the way Taka’s voice streamed out of his mouth. It sounded so natural like a river flowing, or the sound of rain falling on the ground. Smooth like water. Taka must have felt his gaze because when Toru blinked, he realized he was already looking at him while he was singing. Taka had all his emotions showing through his eyes, and Toru wasn’t so sure if he could take it. He couldn’t last a few more seconds having an eye-to-eye contact with a person he barely knew and feeling like he knew him all his life, or that he’s all that he’s been waiting for all this time. Whatever that meant.

He quickly averted his gaze feeling a little bit hot in his face. It only must be because of the beer he’s been chugging, was what his thoughts gathered. Because there was no possibility for any other reason he could be showing off the reddest blush on his cheeks right now. So he fanned himself with his hands even when the ventilation in the bar was properly working. 

A few good minutes had passed and the two guys still hadn’t come back for Toru, and it kind of irked the tall man. 

“Hey, why are you sweaty?” he heard a voice from behind him. 

“Oh. I didn’t notice your set was done,” Toru replied with a less panicky tone. “Also, how can you tell if I’m sweaty when it’s dark in here?” he didn’t mean to sound snappy, but it still came out that way. 

Taka raised an eyebrow and dismissed Toru’s rhetoric. 

“Is it alright if I sit here?” Taka had to gather all his strength to ask that to Toru knowing very well that he hadn’t been the kindest to him since their first meeting. “My friend worked on getting me a gig here, but she’s bartending, and I don’t want to sit by myself,” he explained. 

“Your friend is a bartender here? She must be good,” Toru replied, looking at the short man behind him.

“Uhh yeah. She is. You should definitely try her cocktails,” Taka replied, restless from where he stood, his guitar case heavy on his right should. 

“I will.” 

“Uhm…can I sit with you now?” Taka asked again and smiled shyly, slightly moving his shoulder where his guitar case hung to hint at Toru that it was indeed heavy. 

Toru immediately panicked upon realizing how stupid he must have seemed for not offering Taka a seat immediately. 

“Oh I’m so sorry. Yes, definitely,” he stood up and offered to carry Taka’s guitar, which Taka gladly took, and place it beside him ever so carefully. Taka then walked to the couch and plopped himself comfortably a few inches from Toru. 

“Thank you, uhh…” he paused for a while, “What do I call you?” 

“Just call me by my name. It’s Toru,” he said, this time offering his hand to Taka again for another chance of a formal introduction. 

Taka finally shook his hand. “I’m Taka.”

“Where are your friends?” he asked. 

“Finding a hook up for me,” Taka almost choked from the glass of water he was drinking.

“Shouldn’t you be the one out there?” 

“I trust them, I guess?” Toru laughed a bit. 

“Well, there’re plenty of pretty girls here. My guess is you’ll come home with one tonight,” the shorter man replied. 

“Exactly the hype I need,” he answered back. 

It was exhausting to talk with each other in such a loud place, and Toru was afraid the singer would lose his voice from all the scream-talking that they were doing. 

“Do you want to go out for a while? My head kinda hurts,” Toru said. “Don’t worry, your guitar will be safe here.”

Taka looked at him for a few seconds and concluded that he also needed some fresh air and a quiet place. He nodded in agreement and the two of them dashed through the crowd towards the exit door. And when they were finally outside where it was chilly, Toru breathed deeply. 

“I hate bars,” he whispered but not too softly so Taka could still hear him. “I hate loud places.”

“Shit. Did you hate my music, too?” Taka sounded offended at what the blonde said.

“No, no. Yours was ok. I’m just not the type to be around noisy crowd and places. I don’t like being loud,” Toru explained. 

“Is that why you asked me to laugh?” the short man answered back with another question, their strange meeting flashing at the back of his head. 

“Exactly,” he quickly responded. “Thank you for that, by the way. Again, uhh” he was mumbling.

“Yea, you’re welcome? Also, sorry I’ve been very snappy. It’s just because you are being creepy,” the short man defended himself while fixing his black winter coat. 

“Your friends were stupid for not being able to recognize you that time. You’re very easy to notice among the crowd,” Taka said while rubbing the palms of his hand, eyes focused on his gloveless hands.

They were standing just a few meters in front of the bar and the buzzing of people around them was loud, but the loudest in Toru’s ears were the words that came out of Taka’s mouth. 

_You’re very easy to notice among the crowd._

He wished he wasn’t blushing. 

“Am I?” he smirked.

“You’re what?”

“Very easy to notice.” 

Taka stared at him and squinted in confusion. 

“Your hair is blonde and you’re tall. So yes, you kinda stand out, physically,” he explained.

_You stand out._

There was a short silence between them before Toru finally broke the quietness.

“Hey, do you want to find a vending machine? I suddenly want something hot. My ribcage kinda hurts,” Toru spoke without directly looking at Taka. He clutched at his chest wondering what caused this unusual pain. 

“You’re strange, but ok. Let’s go,” the short man agreed. 

They walked a short distance from the bar to a nearest vending machine. The short man scanned through the displayed drinks thinking whether he should get a hot bottle of coffee or tea. Toru was observing him from his peripheral view while he pretended to also pick one for himself. 

“Are you sure you want to drink this? You kinda just chugged a few glasses of beer, right?” Taka asked without looking at the man beside him. He got a few coins from his pocket and pressed a button after which a small bottle of hot milk tea was dropped at the receiving part of the machine. 

“Yea. Might wash away the effects of alcohol,” he knew he didn’t make that much sense, but he had to push through with it and picked his own drink. 

“You know you kinda need that alcohol for some extra confidence for your hook up,” Taka said in a wicked tone and naughtily smiled at Toru. 

Toru suddenly realized that they must have been out of the bar for a long time and that his friends were already probably waiting for him with some girls they promised to introduce to him. 

“Fuck I forgot about that,” he quickly grabbed his phone and saw that Ryota and Tomoya had already tried reaching him. 

“Does your ribcage still hurt?” Taka asked seconds before he took the bottled drink in his mouth. He was looking up at Toru at that moment, and in that angle, his bright, brown eyes were emphasized, and the blonde man thought he looked very much like a puppy. 

_Ugh. There’s this pain again._

“No,” he denied, staring directly at the short man. He shifted his attention from Taka to the vending machine and bought his own drink. “Let’s get back in?” he invited him after grabbing his hot coffee. 

They began walking back to the bar where Toru’s friends await. 

He could spot that in their couch, his friends were already talking to a girl. 

“Looks like your friends complied,” Taka jested and elbowed him gently. 

He didn’t know exactly what to do, but he asked for it, so he straightened up and walked towards their couch. 

“Here’s our friend,” Tomoya welcomed him and signalled at him to sit beside the pretty girl. 

“Hi! Uhh, Taka’s gonna sit with us. He finished his set already,” Toru spoke while both were fixing themselves in their seats. 

Surely the girl was so pretty and charming. She had a short hair that swayed neatly just above her shoulders. And every time she’d smile, her dimples would appear, and her eyes would transform like two hyphens. 

“You’re the singer from earlier!” Her voice sounded surprised after recognizing Taka. 

“Yes, that’s me,” Taka answered and flashed and awkward smile. “This is Toru by the way,” he pointed at the blonde guy beside him. 

The girl smiled at Toru, and he smiled as well at her. 

“Do you often come here?” Toru started asking hoping a good conversation would start. 

“I guess? I like the crowd here,” she giggled. 

_Cute. ___

____

____

Ryota and Tomoya were out of sight again, and Taka felt like a third wheel together with Toru and the girl. So, while the two were so invested in talking, he decided he’s gonna disturb Mai for a while instead of feeling out of place. Toru didn’t even notice he had gone first, leaving behind his guitar on the couch. 

“Your friend really had a great set. His voice was so beautiful,” she said, and Toru felt uneasy that minutes have passed, and they’ve only talked about Taka and not themselves. 

“Right,” he replied. 

“Ano…I heard that you own this bar?” 

_Oops. There it is. Not again. ___

____

____

“Actually, my dad does,” Toru sounded so serious, but tried to lessen that by smiling a bit at her. He grabbed the glass of beer in front of him. It was probably Ryota’s or Tomoya’s, he didn’t care. He hated it— his name being tagged along his father’s. He hoped it didn’t matter at all, that it wouldn’t come up, not even once. But the truth was he was nothing without his father. If it was only him, nobody would like him. But put his father’s name after his, then he suddenly mattered. 

“Can you excuse me for a second? I need to go to the washroom,” he told her, stood up, and walked away. 

Taka wasn’t having the best night of his life either. He felt lost in the sea of people dancing, and he couldn’t seem to find his way to the bartender. He was already tired being awake at such a late hour, surrounded by strangers. 

Suddenly the bar seemed too huge and small all at the same time, and he was slowly panicking. Then he felt a tight grip around his wrist which made him turn around. 

His blonde hair flashed amidst the blue, green, and red disco lights. And Taka swore he hadn’t met someone that bright before. But his eyes still looked dead and he knew something was wrong with him.

“Can you take me out of here?” his voice was so deep, and he sounded quite intoxicated this time.

The short man couldn’t tell if he was being serious, but he wasn’t that apathetic to ignore this guy who seemed desperately in need of his help. Again.

“What’s wrong?” he mouthed. He didn’t have to wait for his answer. He just took him by his wrist and dragged him outside to breathe a little. 

A few bumps on unknown people here and there, and the two of them were out of the bar again. 

“Take me somewhere, Taka,” the tall man was suddenly dangling over his shoulder. 

“How demanding, Toru,” he couldn’t help becoming irritated at the scenario they were in. He shoved the tall blonde off his shoulder and gently pushed his back against the wall so Toru could stand up better. The lighting outside was brighter and better; the easier for Taka to notice the redness in Toru’s eyes. “Jesus Christ, are you crying?!”

“No.”

“Are you always this troublesome?” the short man asked sarcastically. 

“Maybe.” Toru’s was looking down. “I don’t want to see my friends. Just take me somewhere? Anywhere?” he pleaded. 

Taka wasn’t so sure if it was because Toru was cold or that he was crying when he heard the blonde man sniffle. 

“And my mom told me I’d meet some nice Kansai girls, but all I’ve been seeing now is a creepy Kansai guy,” he murmured to himself. “We’ve only been _friends_ for a few hours, why would you trust that I’d bring you to a safe place?” 

“Because you’ve been helping me,” Toru directly answered, rubbing his face with the palm of his hands hoping it would sober him up somehow.

The temperature had dropped tremendously, and the short man was starting to shiver more than he did a while ago. Toru was right; he had done nothing bad to the blonde guy yet and maybe his kindness was being abused. But there was something about Toru that turned him into a thoughtful piece of shit, which he wasn’t, really. He always thought he’s the most selfish man he knew. Yet, there he was grabbing and dragging a slightly drunk blonde guy along the streets, taking him away from this crowd and place he said he despised.


	4. No Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an awful pain in Toru's chest.

The two men found themselves seated in front of a convenience store shortly distant from the bar they came from. It was like a replay of Toru’s demise from the other night, but this time he was not alone anymore. Taka had offered him a bottled water and some bananas to which the blonde man stared at not clearly understanding why the short man was offering him the fruit. 

“Banana is a cure for hangover,” he told him, pulled one banana out of its plastic container, peeled of a part of its skin, and handed it to the inebriated man. “It’s a common knowledge among my college buddies. C’mon, eat it.”

“I thought it was settled that I was the strange one here?” Toru snickered, but he took the fruit and the bottled water anyway. 

Taka sat beside him on the pavement and said, “do you want me to go scientific on you before you eat that banana?”

The blonde man scrunched up his nose and laughed a little. 

“I’d rather listen to you talking about science than to them,” it was obvious now that he had no control over what he was going to say; the alcohol in his body was taking over his mouth. But he still was trying so hard to be rational before speaking because who knows? He might say something offensive or embarrassing in front of his new friend. 

“I have this strange personality of wanting to appear as if I am super intelligent to new people, when I’m not. In fact, I cannot tell you what’s in that banana that will help you fight your hangover in the morning,” Taka replied in a rather formal tone, before grinning at Toru who was still staring at the fruit in his hand. “But it works. I promise. You can thank me in the morning when it works.”

The tall guy sneered at him and admitted defeat before taking a bite of the sweet fruit. He had a hard time consuming it, but he had to because the short man was staring directly at him as if commanding and waiting for him to finish it all. 

“You seem smart to me,” Toru said out of nowhere after devouring the fruit. 

“What?” Taka asked. 

“You said, earlier, you want to appear like you’re intelligent when you’re really not. But I think you are,” the tall man couldn’t stop his blabbing mouth. 

“Is this the part where we get to know each other?” Taka looked at the man in disbelief. 

Toru sneered. 

“Oh. Ok. Well, I’m not that smart. There’s only one thing I’m good at, and that is music,” the short man started to tell his story to the blonde. “I’m studying music, by the way. Maybe you’ve already guessed that? I don’t know.”

“You were amazing back there, too,” Toru wished he would fucking shut his mouth for being too honest. 

He drank from his bottled water and prayed that he didn’t sound like he was flirting. What even. 

“Thanks,” the short man responded with the sweetest smile he has ever given to Toru. 

_Oh. There’s this pain again. What the fuck._

“But really, it’s the only thing I’m good at. Without it, I would just be a trash living with my parents in Tokyo,” he jokingly said and shuddered at the cool wind. 

Toru observed that the short man wasn’t wearing his gloves and concluded that he must probably be suffering from the intense breeze. So, he took off his own gloves from the pocket of his winter coat and handed it to Taka. 

“Take it. Your hands must be cold,” he said, forcing the gloves on Taka. The short man gladly took them and wore them in his hands. 

Taka snickered at the fact that his hands felt so small inside the blonde’s gloves, then he said his gratitude. “Your hands are huge,” he jested. 

There was a comfortable silence that followed thereafter. Taka just looked at the vast night sky above them. A few people would sometimes pass by them, and he’d wonder why there were still out in such a late hour and with this freezing climate. But then he’d laugh at himself because they’re probably just out with their friends after a fun night party, while he was nursing a drunk man, sitting on a pavement in front of convenience store. A man he had the strangest encounter with the day before. He snickered and looked at Toru and saw that he seemed half asleep already. But the blonde man still hasn’t told him what was up with him and why he wanted so much to be taken away from the packed bar. 

“Nee, Toru, do you have anything to say?” he broke the silence, and the blonde looked at him with his droopy, sad eyes. 

“I wish I knew what I am good at,” he replied with a gloomy tone. “You say you’re nothing without music, but I am nothing without my father.”

“Oh,” was Taka’s reply to that. It was deeper than what he had been expecting. He thought it was just plain girl problems. But he was wrong. So, so wrong.

“At least you own your talent. It’s yours. You mastered it, and nobody can take that away from you,” Toru continued. “But my life isn’t mine, Taka. All twenty-two years of my life.” The blonde man tried so hard not to whimper, so he bit his lower lip to stop himself. 

Taka patted him at his back. 

“I’m so tired of being my father’s shadow. I don’t want to be him. I don’t want to marry any of those daughters from wealthy families. I don’t want to become him, Taka,” he placed his head on his knees in order to hide his teary face from the man beside him. 

The short man was taken aback by the sudden outburst from the blonde guy beside him. He wished he was any good at comforting people. He wished there was anything he could do aside from giving him a pat on this back. He thought so hard about what to say before opening his mouth. 

“It’s not too late to know what you want in life,” Taka spoke, hoping he didn’t offend the tall guy. 

“You say that because you already have your life figured out. And probably also have a supportive family.” Toru deadpanned, his grip tightening around the plastic water bottle.

“Well, yeah,” Taka said in a condescending tone, but really, he didn’t mean to sound like that. 

“See?” Toru complained, raised his head and glared at Taka. 

“Ok ok, I’m sorry for saying that,” Taka apologized. “What I’m trying to say is that, I’ve also had my bad days before I realized what I wanted to do in life. It wasn’t easy at first, but it was a battle I wholeheartedly fought for. And I am where I am now. I’m studying music. I’m performing, even. I didn’t think I would, but I did,” he explained all of it while looking straight into Toru’s teary eyes. 

“Maybe it’s time for you to get out of your comfort zone and start exploring new things you haven’t done before? Maybe through that you’ll have an epiphanic moment?” the short man suggested, raising both his shoulders a bit. 

“And you say you’re not smart?” Toru scoffed and wiped his tears with his hands. “This is so embarrassing.” 

“Next time, maybe be moderate on your alcohol intake?” Taka laughed at him, but not meaning to make fun of the blonde man. Instead, it was a comforting kind of laughter. The next thing Taka realized is that Toru was also already laughing with him. 

Taka peaked at the time on his mobile phone and almost threw it, surprised to find out that it was only 10 minutes before 4 in the morning. He needed to go home now to have enough rest before his next gig that night.

“Holy shit, it’s almost 4,” he mumbled. Just like that, Toru was also already panicking and hurriedly took his phone from his pocket and saw how many calls and messages he had missed from his friends and mom. 

When Taka stood up, he swiftly realized that they left the bar without his beloved guitar with him. 

“Toru, my guitar, I left it in the bar,” he said worriedly. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said but without looking at Taka. He was busy typing something on his phone. “If you come by again at the bar later, you can get it back. Just go home,” Toru smiled.

“How about you?” 

“I can go by myself,” Toru reassured him, still sitting on the pavement. 

“I’ll be at the bar again later, Toru,” Taka informed him. 

“Really?” he didn’t want to sound very happy. 

“Yes. My set is after midnight, but only ‘til Sunday,” Taka spoke. 

A few minutes later, a black shiny car stopped in front of the convenience store. Toru stood up when a man from the driver’s seat came out. Right there, Taka realized that Toru really wasn’t just an ordinary person. Even more so, he realized they might be living in two different worlds. 

The tall man waved his hand to bid goodbye to the shorter man, his back facing the other. That was the last image of Toru Taka saw before he walked his way to his apartment. 

***

It was another day at the Yamashita residence. Another eerie atmosphere at the dining room where Toru sat with his mom and dad. His mother was clearly disappointed in him, but she was also worried he didn’t come home early last night. 

“We’ve contacted your best friends, but they said you were gone when they checked on you,” his mother exclaimed. “Do you want us to die of heart attack thinking about you and your whereabouts?!”

“Toru, you have to start acting like a real adult and stop wasting your life like this,” his dad told him. He didn’t even look at Toru or asked how he was feeling. His father went on with eating his lunch. 

“You’re not even going to ask about my feelings?” Toru whispered to himself, poking the food on his plate. A part of his mind remembered Taka and the fruit he had him eat last night. He couldn’t be more thankful for that little gesture, because right now he didn’t feel the least bit nauseated from drinking too much beer. 

It does work.

His dad straightened up his coat, motioning that he will go to work now. 

“We’ll be having dinner with the Hironaka family later. Be thankful that they still gave us another chance after you ran away the other day,” his dad insisted before heading to exit the house.  
Toru was left with his mother who was staring harshly at him. 

“All you have to do is follow your dad and everything will be fine. But you pull off this show like you’re some kind of a teenager,” she started scolding him. 

Toru swore this was going to be the last time he was going to take this all in. His mother and father’s reproaches will be heard by him for the last time today. He pretended that he was listening to his mother reprimanding him, but his head was somewhere else to be honest. 

He remembered the face of Taka as he was drinking the hot tea he bought from the vending machine. He recalled Taka’s round eyes and how it gleamed, and how, after that, he felt a slight discomfort within the walls of his chest. 

“You need to get enough rest for tonight’s dinner,” her mother instructed him. Soon after, she also left the table. 

Toru was left to his own devices. His food was untouched, but his stomach felt full. 

***

It was already 9 in the evening when Taka woke up from the longest sleep he probably had ever had in his entire life. When he saw the time, he grumbled and lazily stood up to prepare for that night’s gig. He proceeded to send Mai a message about his guitar being left behind at one of the couches located a few feet near the stage. She said it was surrendered last night by one of the bouncers. He sighed in relief. 

While brushing his teeth, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the blonde man. He seemed so trashed and in a miserable state. 

“Will I see him again?” he asked himself. “Hmm. I did tell him my gigs are after midnight. I wonder if he’d remember.”

He stared at his closet and scratched his head in displeasure. All his clothes looked the same. They were all pullovers and flannel tops in the same shade of black and gray. Even his pants were all black. 

“Wouldn’t people think I’m wearing the same clothes I’ve worn?” he asked himself again. “Huh? Why does it matter now?” he dismissed his own question and continued picking out clothes. 

When he was about to leave his apartment, he noticed a pair of gloves on his nightstand. He had to give it back to its owner somehow, so he took them with him and then headed out to the frosty winter night. 

*** 

Minutes after Taka finished his set, he went to Mai to spend the rest of his time. 

“How do you feel?” Mai asked his friend and handed him a glass of what looked like margarita. 

“Thank you!” was his reply. “I’m happy. Really. Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

“No problem. I heard from the manager that the owner of this bar seemed to like you,” she answered back. 

Taka peered at his friend. He couldn’t clearly decipher what she had just told him. 

“The owner liked me?” he wondered.

“Seemed to have been impressed by your performance last night,” she talked back in between taking orders from the customers. 

“The owner was here, huh,” he wondered again. 

He focused on the drink in front of him, and Mai begun getting busy with bartending again. From the stage, a DJ started playing an EDM track and the dance floor was full of people dancing once again. The bar never seemed to run out of people, he thought. He could barely make out a familiar face from all these people. Taka became even more observant this time trying to busy himself with whatever.

Moments later, a light from the outside came through the slightly opened entrance door. 

His eyes slowly widened upon realizing who it was that just arrived. 


	5. Snowfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toru becomes adamant with his life adventures, and Taka is being forced along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I didn't proofread this before uploading, so please help a girl out? If you find something wrong with the grammar, spelling, or vocabulary, please comment so I can revise. Thank you!

Taka’s right wrist felt cold around the hold of the other man’s frosty hand. He was being dragged along the still buzzing street of Namba in the night by the blonde man who was wearing a white suit and black pants. The blonde man had no winter clothes on, Taka observed, and that had caused his hands to feel as if it was drenched in ice. He felt unbothered by this action. Although he did feel concerned towards the blonde man, he decided to wait til they go for a stop and the blonde would start speaking. So they kept running til they reached a familiar ramen house by the road.

He couldn’t help but stare a few more at the man in front of him who looked like a whole new person before his very eyes. 

A few moments ago in the bar, Taka had to blink harder trying to make out the image of the man by the door who looked like he had run away from his wedding day. He had watched the blonde man scour through the crowd inside the bar as if looking for someone. Until he laid his eyes on the shorter man, who had been eyeing his movements for quite some time already. He was glistening amidst the dancing people and sparkling lights, and Taka had to pinch himself for a reality check. The blonde didn’t seem so real right at that moment. 

But here they were now, sitting face to face in a table for 4 at the all-familiar ramen house. 

“Toru…” Taka finally spoke. “Why are we here?” He looked around the place as if someone would suddenly come out and surprise him with whatever. 

“I’ll take your advice,” Toru replied. His discomfort was showing while his fingers tapped fast on the table. 

“What are you wearing?” the short man was trying to figure out what exactly was happening, but he couldn’t quite comprehend their current predicament. He sipped from his glass of water waiting for the tall man to start talking. He saw him swallow a bit too much.

“I came from a family dinner,” the blonde answered. 

“Wow. Must have been a fancy dinner—” Taka was cut off when Toru interrupted him. 

“With the family of the girl I’m going to marry,” Toru spoke. 

“Oh. So you didn’t run away this time,” the short man concluded. 

A waiter soon started serving them bowls of ramen and two cups of tea. It was a good two minutes for Toru to formulate his thoughts before telling the other man. He breathed heavily. 

“I did. That’s why I’m here.”

“Don’t tell me your family dinners always last til the next morning?” Taka said in disbelief.

“Well…” Toru was still not sure if he should talk. But to hell with everything. “I didn’t run away from the family dinner. It was done by 10pm. But I run away from…”

“From what?” Taka sounded a bit irritated by Toru’s incomplete thoughts. 

Toru slyly smiled, and then took back that smile when Taka started frowning, slowly realizing what he was saying. 

“Fuck! You ran away from home?!” The short man seemed to be hyperventilating by the thought of it. It was his first time meeting someone who had run away from his family. 

“You said your set is always after midnight. So I came to the bar because I know I’ll find you there,” he explained. 

Taka couldn’t process what he just heard. He either wanted to punch the blonde man in the face or just drop dead in front of him out of shock. None of which would really be of any help to the problem they were currently facing. 

He smacked his palm on the table. 

“You’re just playing with me right?!” he exclaimed proudly. “Ha! You thought you would make a fool out of me.” 

“No.”

“You couldn’t have ran away, baka!” was his banter. “Stop tricking me.” He was pretending to laugh in victory as though he was winning an argument. 

Toru looked at him directly; his dead eyes even more emphasized. 

“I’m serious. You said I have to do something I haven’t done before. And I am starting now,” Toru declared without a pause. 

“Don’t use my words against me, Toru.”

“I’m not. I’m following your advice,” Toru replied calmly and without hesitation. 

“But you didn’t have to do this!” the short man complained almost pleading the man in front him. 

The ramen on their table was slowly losing its steam, and so was Taka’s patience. He tried shoving away the problem before him by munching on the food like it would dissipate along with the noodles and the soup. 

He was thinking of a way to make things work for Toru without causing this huge ass trouble. Toru was blankly staring at him, not touching his own food. 

“Let me live with you,” he interrupted and Taka swore he never wanted to throw water towards somebody else’s face than now. 

“Don’t be a reckless asshole, Toru,” he said. 

But the blonde man was persistent. 

“I’m gonna get married to a woman I don’t have feelings for, Taka. By then, I will have lived a life with regret and I don’t want that. Just this time, I want something new,” he had his head slightly bowed down as he spoke these words to Taka. 

“I can’t let you live with me! You don’t know me.”

“We have enough time, Taka. I mean, I’ve already told you so much about myself,” Toru responded, leaning towards Taka. Taka flinched a little at the eagerness of the other. 

“I can’t allow this,” the short man rejected him. 

Toru leaned back on the back of his seat and brushed his hair backwards showing most of his face now that Taka had not seen before. Taka admitted to himself that Toru was ridiculously handsome, and could also be ridiculously wealthy. But even with all those things, he was miserable and unhappy. And also ridiculously reckless and dimwitted.

“How about this?” Taka started. “My gig always ends after midnight. We can meet right after, and I can accompany you to do whatever you want to do,” he continued.

Toru slightly pouted at his suggestion. 

“C’mon! I can’t take it if your parents would worry about you not coming home,” Taka softly said. 

The blonde man was silent for a while. Thoughts about his parents getting mad and worried all at the same time and for various reasons started flooding his mind while he assessed what Taka had told him. 

“I promise you won’t have to spend a single yen,” Toru spoke in agreement.

“Oh, but you can’t even afford my precious time,” the short man giggled and went on with his food.

“I’m really causing you so much trouble, am I not?” the blonde suddenly sounded a bit worried as he folded his arms on his chest. 

“Yea now people think you ran away from your wedding and I stole you from your bride,” Taka jested. Toru felt his stomach churn at that thought, but he brushed it off anyway. 

***

After that conversation, Toru offered to pay for the food as payment for his previous debt. Taka was surprised that the young man had actually learned his lessons and brought cash with him this time. He didn’t know Toru very well, yet he could swear he’s seeing these tiny changes from the man. It’s going to take a long time to absolutely get to know him, but Taka was only going to be here for a short time and already, it felt immensely regrettable. In retrospect, it looked Toru didn’t care about that. All this time, he’s been acting like he knew Taka like the back of his hand. 

“I’m gonna have to get my guitar back from the bar,” the short man informed the blonde, to which he agreed. “Have I told you already? About what the owner said about me?”

The two of them were walking back to the bar in the middle of the chilly night. Toru looked at him inquisitively and Taka surmised that it meant he should go on with his story. 

“Mai said the owner told the manager about liking my performance at the bar,” his eyes were gleaming with happiness while he was saying those words. 

Toru coughed and rubbed his hands until they were quite warm then placed them on his cheeks. The short man then realized he had the blonde man’s gloves in his coat pocket all this time, and fished them out. 

“I didn’t think about changing my clothes before coming here, so I also forgot my gloves,” the tall man explained as he wore his gloves. “Congratulations for being liked by the owner, too!” he said. 

“I really wish I had met the owner that night to personally give my thanks,” the short man responded. 

Toru was already grinning and he wished he could hide that smug look on his face. Luckily, Taka was preoccupied with his phone that he didn’t see the grin on Toru’s face. 

*** 

The short man fumbled through his keys as he locked his apartment door after keeping his guitar inside. Toru on the other hand was leaning on the wall with his hands inside the pocket of his pants waiting for Taka to lock up completely. He had his car parked in an alley, which took Taka by surprise. Taka was sure Toru came from a rich family. It just hadn’t sunk it at all so it shook him a little that he owned a car, let alone drove by himself. The short man never had the patience for it; hence he never decided on learning how to drive or own a driver’s license. Plus, his family could not really afford to buy him his own car. Especially now that he’s planning to go to Los Angeles. It would need a huge amount of money, and fancy things like owning his own car didn’t interest Taka that much. 

“Let’s drive to Kyoto,” Toru suggested in a very serious tone. 

Taka was suppressing a yawn, blankly staring at the tall man in front of him. He couldn’t comprehend where all these incredible ideas from Toru came from. He was sure the other man wasn’t intoxicated. He’s also definitely not hungry. So what’s all these ridiculous ideas? There was no way he could find the answer to that question.

“Whoa. I thought this was only more of eating-weird-food kind of adventure,” he said nervously. “I can see you have some huge items on your bucket list.”

They started walking towards his sedan along an empty alley. Most of the population here were probably asleep, and they were very careful not to make disturbing noises.

“It’s only an hour drive. I promise I’ll take you home in the morning and you’ll have enough time to sleep before your gig,” Toru pleaded. 

Taka didn’t know what it is with Toru, or if it was because he wanted this, too, that he couldn’t say no to such a preposterous idea. He rode shotgun in Toru’s car and immediately fastened his seatbelt. 

“Why Kyoto?” he started asking. “Is that where you’re gonna finally murder me and throw me in the forest?” 

Toru raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes,” the blonde plainly answered.

“Remember, I got not much money so think hard of a motivation for murdering me,” the short man grinned at the driver. “It can’t be robbery. Too impossible to believe.”

“I’ll say…” the blonde paused for a while, “…self defense? Because you attempted to assault me!” Good thing Toru’s hands were busy manoeuvring the steering wheel or else he would have had gladly punch himself in the face for coming up with such silly thoughts and actually saying them out loud. 

“What? Like sexual assault?” Taka didn’t seem to budge at that thought. “You look like a sad groom at the moment. And vulnerable. Sexual assault huh…” he was thinking for a comeback.

“Can we go with robbery?” the blonde man chuckled in embarrassment. 

“What would you have stolen from me then?” Taka questioned him as he skimmed through his mobile phone. 

“I don’t know. It just can’t be self defense because you, hypothetically, sexually assaulted me,” the blonde responded. He kept his eyes on the road. 

Obviously, Taka would have wanted to take a nap throughout their drive to Kyoto. But he thought it would only make the blonde feel sleepy; he has been told his sleeping face is contagious. Getting into an accident wasn’t an option. Thus, this hodgepodge of silly topics to talk about til they reach their destination. 

“I think a handsome man like you can be prone to sexual assault,” Taka playfully winked at Toru, which the blonde man ignored. Yet, his chest starting aching again as if his heart was being smashed and he couldn’t breathe harmoniously. 

“Now you’re objectifying me? I’m disappointed,” he shook his head slowly, left and right; the grip on the steering while became tighter. 

“You’re the one who suggested assault, Toru! I’m just…” he paused to yawn, “going with the flow. But no one’s going to get assaulted tonight, ok?” His eyes were slowly closing themselves, although unintentionally for him. However, he’s body was tired and the night was inviting him to dreamland. 

The banters were nice til it lasted. Now the car had fallen into deep silence as the short man completely fell asleep, head tilted towards Toru’s direction. 

Toru couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. A few hours ago he was having dinner with his parents and the Hironakas, and now he was being a rebel kid driving himself and a new friend to Kyoto past midnight. God knows what will happen to them, or to him after all these nonsensical ideas they had both agreed to do. 

When the stop light went red, he halted and took a glance at the man seated on the passenger’s seat. Looking at him made Toru’s chest ache because he couldn’t believe just how much trust the short man had put in him. He felt happy. Too happy that it was almost unbelievably painful within his ribcage and he couldn’t understand why he’s been feeling this ever since he met Taka. He swore he’d have his chest checked by a physician when he gets back to Osaka. But right now, he just wanted to stare at the singer sleeping peacefully. 

From that angle, Taka’s long lashes were visible. Toru also noticed he’s got some moles on his face, just like him. He seemed so tranquil, so unworried in this state. And Toru vowed to himself that he’ll have this peace someday. Because when he’s at home, at night as he sleeps, he’d only be having nightmares of his life being owned by somebody else; nightmares of not being enough, of being used or neglected or thrown away, of living with regrets. Then he’d wake up and he’d realize he has actually been living that nightmare already. 

He brushed off his pessimistic thoughts immediately when the light went green and went on with driving. It was thirty minutes past 2 in the morning, and Toru’s chest pain was finally subsiding.

*** 

The two of them stopped by a 24-hour convenience store for something to eat. Taka bought his companion some onigiri and bottled water to ease their hunger. He was observing the blonde as he tweaked through the plastic wrapper of the onigiri Taka had handed him. Til then the short man realized he probably never had one before. 

“Oh my God! Are you serious? You haven’t had kombini food ever?” he rolled his eyes at the poor blonde sitting on the driver’s seat. 

The blonde nodded. 

“Just how fucking rich are you, Toru? Geez,” he took the onigiri from Toru and opened it for him. 

“I can literally buy you. That’s how rich I am,” the blonde answered sarcastically. 

“Whoa. How much do you think I cost, rich guy?” Taka’s curiosity was rising. 

He’s quite finicky, Toru thought. 

“You’re…priceless,” 

_Ah fuck. When would I shut up?_

“Good answer, Toru. I would’ve not accepted it have you put a certain price on me. Of course I am priceless,” Taka laughed so proudly, trying to hide the crimson red blush on his cheeks.

They went on eating in silence. Soon after, Toru told him what he had wanted to do first. 

“Let’s go to this haunted shrine, Taka. I’ve been dying to go on a ghost hunt,” Toru opened the passenger door for the singer. But he was reluctant about the blonde’s first bullet point in his crazy bucket list. 

“Just kill me here, Toru.” He looked at the blonde with blank eyes. 

Toru had never laughed so hard in his entire life at the thought of the singer seemingly getting scared at the idea of them going on a ghost hunt. 

“No thanks,” the singer replied in a singsong manner. 

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of ghosts?” Toru’s head tilted sideways while smirking as if mocking the short man. 

“I’m gonna have a heart attack and you won’t be able to revive me from my death!!!” Taka was already whining in his seat, but Toru was eager to push through with his first adventure. He started stomping the car floor, but the blonde had no other reaction but that smug smile on his face. 

“I don’t deserve this, universe. I only wanted to sing in front of the crowd and earn my own money to go to LA,” the singer was faking his whimper, but still the blonde went on with driving to the shrine. 

Later on, when he realized he had nowhere to go but to follow Toru, Taka had finally calmed down. They were parked at the foot of the steep road leading to the shrine. Toru went out of the car first, opened the car door of the passenger and offered his hand to the shaking singer. 

“Come with me, Taka,” Toru invited him, forcing that annoying smile on his face to go away. 

Taka glared at him with his sharp eyes. 

“I should have gone with my first impression of you and never considered you as a friend, Toru,” he murmured. The snow slowly fell from the sky as soon as Taka stood out of the vehicle. He was holding Toru’s hand at that moment, and looked up to the sky to wander at the beauty of the white puffs afloat in the air. Toru’s chest started to hurt again and his grip on Taka’s hand tightened so much that Taka was brought back to reality after staring too much at the sky. 

“I’m cold,” Taka said. 

The chilly air seeped through the singer’s gloves. And as though on impulse, Toru took Taka’s hand and put it inside the pocket of his pants for additional warmth. 

They looked like clichés standing under the falling snow, Toru sporting the brightest blush on his cheeks while Taka was staring right through his dead eyes. 

The singer was having a hard time breathing. Whether it was because of the temperature dropping so low or his hand entangled with Toru’s hand in the pocket of the blonde’s pants, he really couldn’t identify. 


	6. House Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka starts to feel something odd in himself but just shrugs it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be too long but I hope you wouldn’t get tired reading along the way. Comments are appreciated. Thank you! :)

Taka stared at the blonde man before him. He could feel from beneath his knitted gloves the slender fingers of the hand that was clasping his inside the pocket. His heart was racing and he didn’t know it was capable of beating that fast even when all he did was just stand under the falling snow with a tall, blonde man. Toru was also staring back at him, and if it weren’t because they were both men and that he was thinking it was absolutely impossible, he’d think Toru was about to kiss him or he was about to kiss Toru. Whichever felt more real, he didn’t know. 

“Uhh, ghost hunting?” he broke the awkward silence that was starting to rise in between them. Toru blinked and woke up from the trance he was in. 

“Right. Ghost hunting. Are you ready?” the blonde replied. 

Taka’s hand was still inside Toru’s pants pocket being held by the blonde’s. He admitted to himself that it felt warm there and he didn’t want to take his hand out, but it felt weird to him so he slowly lifted his hand off of the pocket and smiled. 

“It’s all warm now,” he nervously chuckled. “I think you’re not going to survive the cold with your outfit, Toru.” 

“I have a spare winter coat in the trunk. Let me just get it,” the blonde responded and headed to the back of his car. 

“Oh so you had that all along but didn’t bother wearing them on the way,” the short man answered sarcastically. 

“I just wanted you to see me in this white tuxedo,” Toru said and smirked. 

The blonde man wore a black winter coat over his tux and went back to the singer and grabbed him by his shoulders to the stairs of the shrine. 

“I’m gonna fucking die here, Toru. Just 10 minutes and then please let’s go,” he glared at the tall man who was grinning at him like a child. 

The two of them slowly climbed the stairs to the arch of the huge and empty shrine. Taka held the sleeve of Toru’s coat as he struggled around his surroundings, being wary about a possible appearance of an unwanted supernatural creature. 

“When I was younger, I always wanted to go to haunted houses. I was heavily influenced by horror films I secretly watched alone. But my father caught me one time and thought it was the reason why I was secluding myself from them so he banned horror films in the house and even took all my copies. I never saw them again. But I still felt at times that it could be fun, you know,” the blonde started explaining himself as he grabbed the short man’s hand and held it to his side. 

“What’s fun? Seeing ghosts? Dead people?” Taka frowned.

“Maybe. And also knowing there’s a whole other universe out there where humans, like my dad, don’t rule,” Toru paused to look at the man he was with. 

“Yes, but that’s creepy,” was the short man’s reply, not knowing how to respond properly when the taller guy was looking at him that deeply.

“I sense a spirit behind you,” Toru softly whispered in a deep, baritone. 

Taka almost cried in fear as he cursed the tall, blonde man and punched his arm. 

“You’re such an asshole. Can we go now? I’m really not feeling great already, Toru,” he begged the blonde and tugged his hand. 

“I’m sorry,” the blonde softly said and snickered at the shuddering singer. 

The snow began falling again and the wind became even more chilly as the two of them stood right in front of the empty temple. Toru was staring at Taka’s face— examining the features he had already observed hours ago. He didn’t understand why his chest ached every time he’d look at Taka and see how pretty his facial features were. Couldn’t understand why he would feel suffocated knowing how passionate and dedicated the other man was with his dreams. Couldn’t understand why he would feel this way when it was only days since they first saw each other. 

“Taka?”

“Yes? Can we go now?” the short man replied, pulling Toru by his wrist but he didn’t budge. 

Taka kept pulling and pulling the blonde man, but the cold climate and ghost hunting seemed to have made him weaker. When he gave up on pulling the blonde, Toru smirked at him and pulled Taka instead and enveloped him inside his slender arms in a tight embrace he believed he never have given anyone else. Taka was stunned, but at the same time, the hug felt comfortable. 

“I also don’t know why, but can I hug you a little bit longer?” Toru murmured in Taka’s muffler. 

The singer nodded and decided it wouldn’t be so bad if he’d hug the blonde back. 

All around them, white fluffs were floating in the air and the sound of leaves ruffling and rustling upon the strong wind became clearer along with the mad beating of Toru’s heart as he gripped onto Taka’s coat. He felt the singer’s arm snake around his waist and press his head on Toru’s chest, absorbing the comfort that seemed to radiate from the consoling embrace. A gentle smile formed on Toru’s lips when he realized just how relaxed the both of them were with each other. It would be a lie if he’d say he didn’t wish for that moment to be endless, but it was time for them to go home.

***

Mai couldn’t believe that instead of cocktails, she was making coffee at the bar counter for his groggy friend who arrived quite later than his usual time of arrival. Taka’s hair was disheveled and he has dark circles peeping right under his tired-looking eyes. Basically, he looked like shit. 

“You look busted,” Mai teased him as she handed the hot coffee. 

“Shit really?” He groaned. “I didn’t get enough sleep. I got dragged to Kyoto by a friend last night, got home late, and didn’t get enough rest. I’ll just wear my glasses when I perform later.” 

“Sure or else the audience would be weirded out by how shitty you look. Also, I heard the owner is coming here again. Dunno if he’s already here, but I couldn’t spot an old man yet, though I’m only guessing he’s an old man. But you need to look a little more presentable at least,” his friend told him as he sipped his hot beverage slowly. 

He kept thinking he could ditch Toru’s adventures that night in order to take some more rest. He wasn’t even sure the blonde would come knowing how tired both of them were, especially Toru who had to drive for the both of them. The singer intended to just leave a message, but he had realised he never asked for the other’s number or gave his number to the blonde. He just sighed and headed straight to the back room to prepare his instrument and master the lyrics of his songs for the night. He couldn’t afford to make mistakes, otherwise he’d feel bad about himself and about being paid only to fail at knowing the words. 

While he was strumming his guitar, flashbacks of that moment with him and Toru kept appearing before his eyes. Although he was quite sure it meant nothing but a gratitude hug from the blonde for keeping him company in such a silent and scary place with an odd agenda, he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter and his cheeks warm up. It was a new feeling for him so he wasn’t certain what it actually meant. He shrugged of the thoughts and focused on his preparation. Soon after, he heard his name being called and crowd commenced cheering.

The moment his set started, the crowd turned so quite that he could hear his own voice echoing all over the bar like he was in a fucking huge ass stadium or hall. He wasn’t aware it was possible for the whole place to grow this silent— not when he’s been performing for the third night, and during the last two, the crowd was pretty much a loud one. It weirded him out, but he continued singing. Admittedly, he enjoyed hearing his voice surround the whole venue so vividly and not being mixed with white noise. The feeling was so beautiful that he forgot he was in a bar with possibly drunk men and women. But he didn’t care, he just scanned through the audience til a familiar person caught his vision. Toru was already there. The blonde had a rather stylish get up— in contrast to his monochromatic get-ups ever since the first time they saw each other. Instead of a black winter coat, he was wearing a beige plaid one that stretched until his knees. Taka noticed that Toru’s legs are slender especially with those combat boots he was wearing. He looked nice and different, the singer thought. Later on, as he continued singing and looking everywhere at the crowd, he found out that the blonde wasn’t alone. In fact, a shorter woman was standing with him in the sea of people, her left hand holding Toru’s right forearm. 

His voice broke a little; just a tiny mistake at a note that almost no one could notice as he stared at Toru and the girl he was with. The blonde was smiling at him like a proud friend cheering on him, but he wasn’t entirely sure why he felt down even though Toru came earlier that night and watched his set unlike the other night. The view in front of his eyes was distracting him so he shifted his gaze to the audience seated near the stage hoping that no one would notice the tone of his voice changing. When he started the second song, Toru and the girl with him have finally decided to position themselves in one of the vip couches; the one where Toru and his friends sat before during the first night they formally met. 

Right after his set, he went straight to Mai who had already prepared a drink for him, but with a worried look on her face. 

“Missed a few notes there,” she remarked. 

“Yea shitty performance, right? The crowd was so silent, I was internally freaking out,” he answered, hiding his face in this palms. 

“Don’t worry, at this point, these people are already too drunk to even notice or care,” she assured him. “By the way, the manager said the owner wants you to sit with them.”

“Why?”

“Told you he liked your performance. Maybe he’ll offer you a long time contract here?” she replied.

“Can’t be. I’m flying to Los Angeles,” he responded and took a sip of his cucumber water. 

“Just go to the couch left side of the stage. The manager said you’ll know it’s him coz he has this aura, like a prince? I don’t know. Also, he’s wearing a plaid winter coat,” she informed him, chuckling when she said the word aura to her friend. 

Taka then headed to the club owner, the glass of cucumber water in his hand, and his guitar case hanging on his left shoulder. The crowd was back to being a wreck again as a dj started playing electronic dance music and the dance floor was open and full of strangers grinding as if they knew each other. There were only three couches on the left side of the stage, but only one of them was occupied by a man in a plaid winter coat. He walked towards, his nose scrunching in disbelief.

“You’re not him, right?” he uttered. 

“No other,” Toru answered as he tapped the empty space to his right, signaling Taka to sit beside him. 

“Wow, you actually are “buying” me. I can’t believe you’re the owner of this bar,” he was astonished as he plopped on the couch and placed his drink on the empty table. “You’re not drinking anything? Sir?” 

“Sir? You cuss at me, and now you suddenly change,” the blonde scoffed and elbowed the singer. “I’m not drinking. I already had a few drinks with her,” he pointed to the girl with him, “in a restaurant though. Parents urged us to go on a date.” 

“Oh. Is she…?”

“Yup,” he answered. 

“By the way, this is Hironaka Ayaka. Ayaka, this is Taka. He sings here at this hour,” he formally introduced the two. 

Undoubtedly, Ayaka was a very charming person. Her eyes gleam like crystals especially when she smiles. And her speaking voice was cute as well. Taka thought Toru only needed time and he’ll fall for this person. No questions asked. 

“You were great earlier. If you want, maybe you can also perform in one of our hotels,” she suggested and sweetly smiled at the singer. 

“Yea, I’d love, too. But I’m flying to LA so I really can’t do that, but thank you,” the vocalist replied, his hands fidgeting nervously. He didn’t know, too, why he was feeling the intense beating of his heart. 

“LA? What for?” she asked. Toru just watched the two converse. 

Taka started telling Ayaka about his dreams and that he wanted to study music in LA and maybe even start a career there. He told her why he’s in Osaka and how he and Toru had somehow become close, and she giggled after knowing how their meet-ugly went, and that he was, in fact, being too comfortable with the bar owner all this time but unknowingly. 

“I knew he was rich, but I couldn’t believe he’s somehow funding my education by working here,” he jested, to which the blonde man laughed. 

“Toru is a really humble person,” Ayaka replied.

“Humble? But he kept bragging about being super rich?” Taka reacted and laughed at Toru’s face. 

“For the record, we were only bantering and you keep telling me I am. You notice my littlest gestures, that’s why,” the blonde responded and smiled at his own words. 

Indeed, Taka noticed Toru’s actions, even the tiniest detail that could reveal how wealthy he actually is. 

“But yea, he’s a kind person,” Ayaka butted in, feeling a bit left out by the closeness of the two men. 

“Did you notice anything strange in the bar today?” Toru asked.

Taka tried to recall the events that happened when he arrived at the bar til he sat down with them. 

“Nothing really. Except for when the audience was super quiet during my set,” he answered and the blonde smiled suspiciously at him. 

Ayaka called Toru’s attention and told him that it was already very late, her parents were already looking for her, and that they needed to go home. Both of them. 

“I’ll get you a taxi so you can go home. I need to stay here,” he told her.

“Need?” she confirmed. The sweet smile she was trying to maintain was slowly fading from her face.

“Yea. Taka and I still have business left to do,” Toru answered, cautiously not spilling any details to her, afraid that she might reveal them to his parents and he’d be screwed. 

Ayaka was left with no choice but to abide by Toru’s words and waited outside til a cab approached them. The blonde opened the car door for her and then bid goodbye. Taka was also with them, looking so small with his guitar case on his back, as he waved to the disappearing taxi. 

“I ordered the manager to make the audience shut up during your whole set or else I’ll fire him,” the blonde casually said, but he wasn’t sure if the singer heard him. He had his back turned against the blonde as he gazed at the taxi, which was already out of sight. 

“You’re a lunatic,” Taka whispered. He was suppressing a huge, childish grin from forming in his lips as he faced the tall man beside him. 

“Yea, you’re probably right. I wanted so badly to hear your voice,” he murmured to himself. 

“I didn’t hear that. What did you say?” 

“Nothing.” The blonde shrugged. 

Taka just nodded.

“So, what misfortune do you have in store for me tonight, mister?” he said as they started to walk to the direction of their go-to ramen house. 

“Oh wow so now it has become something we do for you?” the blonde questioned. 

“The misfortune, yes,” the singer responded. 

“We’ve only done one so far though. Are you tired of me?” 

Suddenly, Toru’s tone became so sullen. 

There was no snow in Osaka, as opposed to Kyoto. But the signs of rain that may have happened a few hours ago were visible. There were tiny hints of water puddles in the streets and the windows in the buildings around them were glistening with raindrops that haven’t completely dried up. The thought of rain made Toru’s solemn mood, which was caused by thinking Taka was probably already tired of him, intensify. 

“What? No! That’s not what I meant,” Taka answered back, halting and facing Toru whose face was starting to look dark. 

“What do you mean then?”

“Ok. I’m sorry if I sounded like I was complaining. The truth is, I got really tired because of our Kyoto trip and even thought of ditching you tonight to get some decent amount of sleep,” Taka explained. 

“You wanna just pass for tonight? I can just go back home,” Toru considered. Indeed he could see from beneath Taka’s glasses that he was tired and needed some rest. 

“I can’t do that. You came all the way here,” the singer said and started thinking of a way to make the sulking Toru feel better. “What were you thinking of doing tonight anyway?” 

“Nothing much. Just want to learn how to cook?” he shyly smiled. 

“Are you sure? That doesn’t sound as life-threatening as the ghost hunting,” the short man confirmed. 

“What I really wanted was to do the rides in Universal, but obviously it’s closed now so I’ll just let you teach me how to cook. That is, if you know how?” the blonde beamed at the singer with a hopeful look. 

“You came to the right person. Does this mean we’ll come to your house today?” the vocalist started to feel excited about finally visiting a friend’s house. 

“Well, my parents won’t be home tonight. We can do that I guess?” the blonde replied, scratching the back of his head- a gesture he does when he suddenly feels shy. 

“Impeccable timing! I’ll head home first to get some clothes and leave my guitar.”

“We’re not getting ramen?” 

“What? No. You’ll have to eat what you cook later,” the vocalist grinned as if he had something evil in his mind. 

The both of them then headed to Toru’s car to go to the vocalist’s apartment before they finally headed to the blonde’s house.

***

Taka almost couldn’t close his mouth when he saw the enormous house Toru lives in. It was so huge and looked so much like a mansion, and he could understand how Toru would feel lonely in this house where only the three of them with two helpers reside. 

There’s a long walkway from the gate to the short stairs that present the front door almost twice as tall as the singer. The front lawn was spacious, but since it was winter, there were no flowers in the bushes. Nonetheless, he could picture in his mind just how gorgeous that place could be in spring with flowers lining up in both sides. The car stopped as Toru parked it inside their garage, and Taka felt his breathe hitch. It’s becoming too obvious just how vast their difference is and he started feeling intimidated by this. 

The blonde noticed that the singer wasn’t getting out of the car, so he went to the passenger’s side and opened the door for him. 

“This is me. Let’s go inside,” he reached his hand out to the singer. 

When they came inside, two helpers greeted Toru. Both of them seemed half asleep but in a dazed state as they bound to the blonde man. 

“You didn’t have to wake up. It’s already late,” Toru said with a kind look on his face. 

“Your dad specifically instructed us to look after you. Do you need anything?” one of the helpers, who looked like she was in her forties, asked. 

“By the way, this is Taka. Don’t tell mom and dad I brought someone home. He’s gonna go berserk and start investigating on him,” Toru informed the two as he waved at them to tell them to go back to their rooms to rest. 

He then led the singer to his bedroom where Taka could shower and change his clothes before they start the cooking lesson. 

That night, Taka marveled at how luxurious life Toru was living in. Little by little, he realized that what Toru has been telling him about his life was becoming more real. That Toru had all the material things he could possibly ask for because he was rich; but more importantly, he was a lonely man and despite this enormous house, nothing might ever suffice that emptiness inside him. 

“Are you sure this would somehow make you feel happy?” Taka asked the blonde as he scoured through the cabinets and refrigerator for things he could use for cooking. 

“You said I should try doing things I’ve never done before,” the blonde responded while observing the short man tiptoeing upon the cabinet over his head like it was his house. 

“Yes, but have you been feeling good about this? Be honest,” the vocalist asked once more.

“I loved the travel to Kyoto,” Toru answered, a shy smile suddenly appearing on his face. He remembered the way Taka looked while he was asleep in the passenger seat, how his hand felt entangle with his own, and most especially, how small and comfortable the vocalist was around his embrace. There’s a gnawing feeling in his chest that’s telling him to give Taka the “talk” about the hug, but he didn’t want to make it seem like it bothered him so much or that he couldn’t sleep well thinking about it the whole time, even during his date with Ayaka. 

“That’s great. I hope it was a learning experience for you, Toru,” Taka said and gave Toru a close-mouthed smile that was too sweet, the blonde felt like he’s gonna get diabetes from taking it all in. 

Moments later, Taka was already mentoring Toru how to cut vegetables suitable for curry. The blonde was shaking as he held a knife in his hand as he always had fear for things that are sharp and could possible wound his perfect, slender hands. 

“That’s not how you hold it,” Taka sighed and went behind the blonde, his arm on the blonde’s waste, the other hand assisting Toru’s. 

It took more than an hour before the two of them could finally eat what Toru had cooked. Both of them were already starving as they sat on the kitchen table. 

“Ayaka seems nice,” the vocalist spoke before he took a spoonful of curry in his mouth.

“Yea she is. But she was really creepy the first time we met.”

“Creepy? Doesn’t seem to match her face. If anything, you’re the creepy one here,” the vocalist talked back. 

“But you’re in my house now, with consent, eating my food. I guess that should cancel out your opinion about me.”

“Fine. Also, good curry,” he said in defeat. “I think you’d only need a little time with Ayaka to fall for her. She’s pretty and nice.”

“Why do you sound disappointed though? Are you jealous?” 

Toru bit the inside of his cheek when he realized he talked out loud again. 

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I’m not jealous.”

“I’m just kidding. You didn’t have to be so defensive,” the blonde chuckled. 

“At least when I go back to Tokyo soon, you’ll have a new company for all these ‘after midnight sessions’ we’re doing,” the vocalist added. 

“Right. You’re only staying for a while. I forgot about that,” he replied. 

“Now you’re the one who sounds disappointed.”

“I am disappointed because I will miss you.”

The response echoed all over the dining room, and Taka felt as though he was paralyzed by it. He didn’t know how to answer back so he just laughed at the blonde man and tried to ignore the thumping of his heart that seemed to be out of control.

***

Taka could hear the sound of water from the bathroom inside Toru’s bedroom as he played with his phone. It was almost 3 in the morning and he was waiting til the blonde would finish showering so he could tell him he needed to go home. But Toru was taking his damn time. So he decided to walk along the hallway til he saw a door which said “music room.” He slowly reached for the door knob, internally debating whether he should check on what’s inside or just go back. 

“That’s my mother’s piano room,” a low, baritone voice came from behind him. 

“Jesus Christ you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“You wanna get in there? Her piano’s been long untouched,” the blonde replied. 

“Do you know how to play it?” 

“Unfortunately, I don’t,” Toru disappointedly answered. 

He saw a hint of gleam in the singer’s eyes. 

“I can teach you.”


	7. Hard Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A realization hits Taka hard in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's more than a month since I last updated this fic lol  
> I decided that I wouldn't let a whole month pass by without updating this so here you go!

Taka sat down on the piano bench, lightly pressing the keys to a classic Chopin Nocturne, as Toru stood by the window watching the short man get lost in his own world. He has seen Taka play the guitar several times, even heard him sing different songs. But none of those could ever compare to how lovely Taka looked while he was gracefully moving his fingers from keys to keys, eyes focused on the instrument. 

“You’re staring at me, Toru-san. I can see your face from my peripheral view,” he said without taking his eyes off the piano.  
Toru snickers, stepping forward to the piano bench where the singer sat. 

“Is it bad? I’m just appreciating your music. I’d let you teach me though, but I can’t be helped,” Toru explained, squeezing himself on the piano bench.  
The singer flinched at the close contact. Toru was only wearing a black tank top so he’s bare arm would brush Taka’s clothed one from time to time every time the tall man would press a key. 

“This used to be my ojiisan’s piano before he gave it to my mother when he died. It holds a strong sentiment for my mother, so when she inherited this from him, it became such a sad thing for her. They used to play together, but now it only reminds her of death and pain. She never played this again,” Toru told the vocalist, who was now looking at him with eyes full of worry. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched it,” the singer responded, removing his hands from the keys. 

“No, it’s fine. She won’t know if anybody’s been here,” Toru said, softly smiling at Taka. 

For some strange, unknown reason, Taka felt his heart melt at the sight of the blonde being this soft and sentimental in front of him. He started wondering if anybody had seen this side of Toru, and it left a hint of pain in his chest thinking that he might not be the only one to see it.

***

It’s odd how Taka was already awake at 10 in the morning considering the obvious fact that he should still be sleeping because he had a night job, and that he slept late yet again. Heck, he didn’t even have enough sleep to start with. When he arrived at dawn from Toru’s house, his mind won’t stop playing pictures of Toru in the kitchen. Ugh, how domesticated. Not only that, he kept thinking about how gorgeous the man looked standing by the window while he was nervously playing the piano. It’s the bare minimum, really, but it sent a whole ass firework of blush in his cheeks. 

Ten in the morning and he was already relentlessly knocking Mai’s apartment door, impatience rising by the second the longer it took for his friend to open the door.  
“What took you so long?” he complained as he threw his shoes by the genkan and headed straight to Mai’s little living room. 

“It’s only ten and I was still sleeping. I need sleep, too, idiot. Why the hell are you here?” Mai muttered, plopping herself on the couch next to Taka. “Dude, are dark circles around your eyes your new fashion interest now?” 

“Will you shut up? I came here to seek our advice,” Taka replied, and Mai couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. 

“You? Asking me for advice? The world has gone mad.”

“Yes, Mai. The world has definitely gone mad,” Taka whined as he pulled his hair. “I think there’s someone I like.”

When the words left Taka’s mouth, he couldn’t help but let out a long, sharp cry which he muffled using one of Mai’s couch pillows. His friend only stared at him with eyes still droopy but with a hint of disbelief.

“I didn’t know you even had time to go around flirting with people,” was her only reply. “So, who’s the unlucky girl?”

The vocalist choked when he heard the world ‘girl’ and he just wished the earth would swallow him first. He was confused, alright, and shocked even. At first, he wanted to believe that the sinking pain he felt whenever Toru was close to him was only a result of not having enough sleep or because they were together almost all the time that he couldn’t tell the difference anymore between a crush or just having fun with someone’s company. 

He waited for a few good minutes, weighing whether Mai was to be trusted with such a heavy secret. He’s not one to share his feelings. He couldn’t even completely expose himself to his parents. What more when it’s sexuality that’s involved, and a possible blooming romance with a guy whose future was already determined. There was no point in worrying about it, he thought, so might as well just shoot it to the open air and see what his friend would think about it. 

“The unlucky girl is a guy, and he’s getting married anyway. So there really is nothing to worry,” he nervously answered but the words flowed so naturally like he had been practicing. 

“Oh, damn. Who’s the hot guy? Have I seen him before? Is he from Tokyo or did you meet him here?” Mai responded and Taka could only sigh deeply in relief that he was right about his friend. 

Before he spoke, he got himself a glass of water first, trying to calm himself from the shock of the realization that he was a having a hard crush, and on a guy to top that.  
“I haven’t even told you what he looks like, but you’re already concluding that he’s hot?”

“I know you have taste, Taka. Just tell me everything then I’ll see how I can help you get into his pants,” Mai hysterically laughed when Taka almost drowned in the water he was drinking. 

“Watch your mouth! I don’t know if you know him, but uhh…you work for him?” Taka’s eyebrows raised hoping Mai would understand what he meant by it.  
“What the fuck? You have a crush on the bar owner? Isn’t he like, super old?”

“No!” He violently replied, images of Toru flashing in his little head. “He’s the same age as me, apparently. He’s the one I went to Kyoto with. I was with him at his house last night, too. And you weren’t listening to me at all when I told you that he’s getting married.”

Taka pouted and crossed his arm upon his chest. Mai could only care less about his friend acting like a baby in front of him. 

“He’s getting married at 22?” she asked. 

“No. But he’s been arranged to marry some daughter of a hotel owner,” he sulked. 

“So, you have a crush on a hot guy from a rich family who’s been set up to marry someone in the future. But he spends so many nights with you, am I right?” 

“Basically. I’m going crazy here Mai. You think I should take a rest from work tonight? He’s gonna be there and I don’t know what I’d do with all these new feeling swimming in my head and chest,” he said, tone pleading. 

Mai examined his facial expression. She was right that Taka looked shit with how dark his eye bags were already. But she’s sure it’s not because he hadn’t been getting enough sleep, but because he hadn’t been getting enough sleep worrying about his blooming romantic feelings. 

“Taka, you only have 3 nights left to perform. You take the night off tonight, you won’t get paid for it. You know you’re doing this for your American dreams. But if you’re gonna let some petty crush distract you, then I don’t know. Do whatever the hell you want.”

That hit Taka like a truck. How could he forget about his main reason for coming to Osaka? A few nights spent with a new person and he went batshit crazy.  
“You’re right. I need to focus.” 

“You need to focus and,” she paused, raising an eyebrow at Taka, “you also need to show me who the hot guy is.” 

That night, Taka came to the bar with his determined outlook. Determined to keep his distance from the blonde guy til the whole gig is over and he could come back to Tokyo with eyes set on his dream to go to Los Angeles and pursue music.

But he was already on his last song, and he’s been scanning the audience area, yet there were no signs of a tall guy with blonde hair and long legs amongst the crowd. He wanted to make it seem like it didn’t worry him, but it was unusual of Toru not being there. He was the one who needed Taka to help him. He was always there, always present when he sings. No matter how hard Taka scans the crowd to look for the familiar face or even his stance, he was nowhere.

Toru didn’t come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so short compared to the others because...just because lol  
> Did you enjoy this one? Tell me what you think about this chapter. Thank you! xx


	8. Confession Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka finds out what’s up with Toru. The blonde does something unusual that causes Taka to panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t update this fic for the whole month of May, and that’s just lame. WOW.
> 
> So, here’s a short update that screams YES WE’RE GOING DOWN THAT TROPE (wc i will not disclose here so u gotta read, u r obliged to!!! jk)
> 
> It’s only the part 1 of the whole chapter digest I did. Which means, I will upload a second part sooner i hope. 
> 
> disclaimer:  
> this is a work of fiction

The rain won’t stop falling as Taka made his way out of the bar. His set had been over for an hour, but he held up going back to his apartment in the hopes of maybe finding Toru in the crowd. It’s the second night Toru had not graced the bar. At first, Taka thought maybe he was only running late. But nobody had ever gone late for three hours, at least for Taka. 

It’s two in the morning and he was avoiding the rain from drenching him and his guitar. There were a couple of strangers walking by, braving the rain. Some under their umbrellas, and some without. Taka stood still by the doorway still hoping for a tall, blonde guy to rush to him and apologize for being late. He’d forgive him and they would go for another adventure. He’d teach the blonde things he never learned in his world of silver and gold. He’d laugh at his ignorance and the blonde wouldn’t be offended. He’d bid goodbye and the blonde would insist on taking him home. He’d say no because one more move and he would fall— deep, deep, deep. 

But Toru, once again, didn’t show up. 

“You know you could just text him, right?” Mai blurted out from behind him. 

“I don’t have his number,” he sighed. “I should just go home. See you later.” 

“Yea. Your last set, finally. See you!” 

Taka sauntered along the wet ground, stopping at every shade he would come by, until he was near his apartment. He stood by the door of a closed restaurant, roof against his head, and the loud rain around him. The vending machine was bright beside him and he had never felt so lonely being alone, drenched and tired. How long til the rain would stop? He didn’t know. His guitar hung on his right shoulder, so heavy, but his thoughts of Toru was heavier. 

He didn’t know how many minutes he had waited. His eyes were closing from time to time while he leaned on the wall. The rain had died down just enough for him to run to his apartment. 

The moment he came inside his apartment, he immediately took of his winter coat and turned the heater on. He was freezing and his eyes were wet. Did he cry? Huh. He put his hands in his winter coat to check for items that may have gotten wet from the rain. His hand felt something inside and when he pulled it out he found a business card slightly soggy. The excitement and worry in his chest were rising altogether, and maybe it was fate’s work but he had no time to be praising the universe. He immediately took his phone and dialed the number in the card. 

“Toru?” Taka softly spoke when the ringing stopped. “I didn’t realize I have your business card all along. I’m sorry I know it’s very late but I just want to know if you’re alright. You haven’t showed up in the bar last night and tonight, too.” 

He was waiting for a reply from the other end of the line, but all he could hear was ragged breathing.

“I…I uhh…I’m fine,” Toru answered, obviously trying to sound less struggling. 

“You don’t sound ok,” the singer replied, plopping himself on the couch and completely forgetting his need for a bath. 

There was no answer from the other line, only heavy breathing. Taka frowned realizing what exactly was happening. He stood up from his seat and was about to sputter words when he heard a loud, audible sigh from Toru. He sounded like something had annoyed him. 

“I’m alright.” Taka heard Toru say it, voice soft as though he pulled his phone away from his mouth. “Taka?” 

It took Taka a few seconds to snap back to reality. 

“You’re sick. I’m coming over,” he declared and attempted at hanging up when he heard Toru call his name multiple times over the line.

“I’m ok. You…real…you really don’t have…have to,” the blonde responded and heaved. 

Taka could only take so much of what he could hear. He insisted on coming over to Toru’s house. So, he rushed for a quick bath before he called for a cab to take him to Toru’s house. 

It’s another night of losing sleep again, and if his mother would see him at this state, Taka would surely earn a hit in the head. He had totally gone crazy, and over a boy for the record. His hands were shaking as he sat on the passenger seat of the cab, worry and panic rising by the second. 

He swiftly stepped out of the cab the moment they reached the gate of Toru’s house, his guitar hanging on his right shoulder. He had no time to be stunned, though he still found Toru’s home to be surprisingly astounding, and immediately pressed the doorbell on the gate post. There was no answer and Taka could only shudder in utter nervousness, chill winter air draping all over him. The good thing was that the rain had already stopped. 

He pressed the button multiple times again til one of the housemaids rushed to the gate. 

“You’re the friend from the other day,” the housemaid said when she saw Taka standing by the closed gate.

“I’m sorry for waking you up at this time, but I just really need to see Toru-san,” he answered.

There was a slight doubt evident in the housemaid’s face before she decided to open the gate for Taka. 

“Thank you so much,” he said. 

They began walking fast to the front door with Taka walking faster ahead of the housemaid.

“Are his parents already home?” the singer asked nervously.

“No, but we’re expecting for them to be back by afternoon later,” the housemaid answered. “He’s in his room. You may come in. I’ll go ahead now, sir.”

Taka was left by the doorstep of the blonde’s bedroom. He was battling whether or not it was a good idea that he had insisted on visiting Toru, but he was already twisting the doorknob and there was no turning back. 

As soon as he entered the bedroom, he was welcomed by the warm air from the heater. Before he got into Toru’s bed, he had to pass through the blonde’s study area where most of his business books were neatly arranged in a shelf beside his study table. The swivel chair was neatly tucked under the desk and piles of paper were placed beside Toru’s laptop. Toru’s room was a delight in Taka’s eyes— clean and organized; oddly in contrast with the blonde’s life. 

Taka was trying his best to walk as softly as possible, slightly frightened that Toru might get mad that he was interrupting his sleep. Although terrified, his worry towards the blonde was what mattered to him more. A few more steps and there he was, standing by the edge of Toru’s bed. He looked at the tall guy sleeping peacefully on the bed, his phone still in his hand. Taka was now sure, it’s confirmed, he was having a hard crush on his new friend. Not to be creepy, but he could stare at Toru’s face for minutes, maybe even hours. He shyly smiled to himself before he went nearer the sleeping form of the blonde and almost forgetting why he came there at all.

He turned the bedside lampshade on to see Toru better. There was an untouched tray of food by the nightstand that had gone cold. He touched the blonde’s forehead and felt how hot it was under his chilly palm. The blonde winced, partially waking up from his slumber.

“Taka…” he said under his warm breathe.

“Hey,” Taka whispered, sitting beside Toru’s lying form. 

He pushed back Toru’s blonde hair to wipe his sweat. The loud stomping of his heart was difficult to stop while he watched Toru slowly blinking and waking up. He pulled away from touching Toru and proceeded to placing his guitar on the couch along with his winter coat.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to bring anything. I rushed when I realized you were sick,” he explained and went back to sit on the bed again.

Toru’s eyes were more droopy than usual. The wall clock showed it was 3 in the morning and he flinched at the fact that Taka was there even when it was that late. 

“Please don’t be mad at me,” the vocalist said when he saw the look on the blonde’s face.

“I’m not…I’m not mad. I’m…It’s late and you’re here. Why?” 

“I don’t know. You didn’t show up for two nights and I got really worried. I’m still worried. Your fever, do you feel alright?” Taka sputtered, panic obvious in his face. 

Toru smirked, sitting up until his back was leaning on the headboard. 

“I don’t know how I got sick, but I feel terrible. My head feels like I’m in a daze, too, with all the meds I took,” the blonde explained slowly. 

The vocalist watched the blonde cover himself with the thick blanket even when he was already sweating. Taka let out an exasperated sigh feeling helpless. 

“I feel better now that you’re here,” the blonde spoke and reached for Taka’s hand that was conveniently pressing on the bed. 

Toru felt the pain in his chest again— so overwhelming, so confusing, so new. He was beginning to wonder why he only felt it whenever he’s near the vocalist; but was too terrified to acknowledge it. Instead, he opted to pull his hand away and hide under the blanket, pink blush spreading over his cheeks. He was sure it wasn’t the fever that’s burning in his face. 

“Toru, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I feel strange.”

The vocalist raised an eyebrow at the sudden behavior of his blonde friend. 

“Are you hungry? I’ll make you food downstairs. Or do you want to go back to sleep?” Taka asked as he tried to remove the blanket from over Toru’s head. 

“Food.”

“Uhh…ok. I’ll be fast.”

 

A few minutes later, Taka came back with another tray of food, replacing the cold one that was on the nightstand he saw when he arrived earlier. Toru already had his back leaning on the nightstand again and was less sweaty. 

“What time were you supposed to take your meds?” Taka asked, blowing air on the noodle soup. 

“Around this time.” 

“Great timing. Here,” the vocalist smiled, scooped a spoon of soup, and reached towards Toru’s mouth. “Say aaah.” 

“You’re treating me like a child,” the blonde protested but also giggled. 

“Can you feed yourself?” Taka asked sarcastically. 

“No. Feed me, please,” the blonde replied, smiling naughtily at the flustered vocalist.

Taka scoffed but still went and fed the sick blonde. The tall guy would sometimes laugh because he never imagined he’d be in such a situation. None of the girls his parents asked him to marry had even gone in his room, but there was Taka, casually sitting on his bedside and taking care of him. His heart was going to break lose any minute. But maybe a little adventure wouldn’t hurt— not when if it was what he needed to make the tightening of his chest go away.

He gently pushed the bowl downwards, signaling the small singer that he didn’t want it anymore. The vocalist obliged and put the noodles soup back on the tray, then got the meds and the glass of water for Toru to take. 

“Taka?”

“Yea?” 

Taka looked back at Toru and before he could move back, the blonde was already at him— his lips pressing against his. The vocalist was dumbfounded, hands gripping the glass of water tightly. It wasn’t a wet kiss— Toru wasn’t even sure if he was capable of that. It’s simple— just his lips touching Taka’s plump ones. When Toru realized it, he immediately pulled away and hid under his blanket again. 

“I’m uhh…why did you do that?” Taka reluctantly asked. 

His cheeks were crimson red under the orange light of the lampshade. Toru pulled his blanket down til his nose, embarrassed at what he had done. 

“Do you kiss anybody who takes care of you when your sick?” the vocalist asked again. 

He sounded so confident, but he was all sorts of anxious and nervous. His crush just kissed him, what should he do? 

“No,” Toru replied. 

“Oh. Ok. This is crazy. Maybe it’s just because you’re sick and not thinking straight. You’re hungry, too, and haven’t taken your—,”

“No, no!”

“Then why?” 

Toru swallowed. Taka’s eyes were gleaming in curiosity. 

“My chest hurts every time I’m with you,” the blonde answered. 

The vocalist didn’t know what to say. He just sat there, calculating whether he should tell Toru the truth or not. He looked around him— the vast difference between him and Toru. It was overwhelming and too much to handle. 

“You should get some rest. I’ll sleep for a while on the couch. I’m gonna leave before your parents arrive,” Taka said, putting back the glass of water and the meds on the table.

He heard Toru sigh and he never knew it could sting like that. 

“You’re right. Maybe it’s just the fever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update was so lame i might as well revoke my oor fangirl loyalty card lmao


	9. Lovesick, Lovefool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taka gets sick on his last night of acoustic set at the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who gets sick from love? I don’t! I do, though, get sick OF love! HAHA! 
> 
> Kidding aside, Lovefool is a The Cardigans song if u wanna know. 
> 
> Welcome back to another chapter of After Midnight where no one is really sure if they’re gay for each other or not. What tropes are we gonna encounter in this update? Let’s all find out as we read through. 
> 
> Song in my mind as I was writing:  
> Highway To Heaven - NCT 127  
> (the English version because it’s kinky as hell lmao)

Taka flinched at the bitter taste of the ginger tea he chugged at once, wincing at the strange taste as it mixed with the leftover taste of rice porridge in his mouth. The air was infuriatingly cold in his apartment bedroom and he was sure the heater was on maximum, but still, he was shivering underneath his thick blanket. 

“You know what? It’s one thing to brave the rain to see a sick friend, but to actually get sick yourself? Who are you?” Mai spoke questioningly, judgmentally looking at her friend who was all bundled up in white blankets. “Your immune system is phenomenal. How did you manage to get sick on your last night of performance?”

The singer pressed an imaginary rewind on his small brain and tried to playback the events from the early morning. The heavy rain, the ride to Toru’s home, the empty house, and the bedridden blonde man on his bed. He needed to formulate a story that won’t allow him to snitch on himself so he stared blankly at his mug of tea for a while, avoiding possible loopholes on his narration.

“So yeah, his virus was pretty much the strongest that it even made me sick and now, here I am being bitched on by the only friend I have,” he muttered, voice hoarse and nose scrunching from the pain in his throat. 

“Phew. For a minute there I thought he was so sick he hallucinated and kissed you,” Mai teased, knowingly eyeing Taka from where she was seated. 

For a minute, Taka panicked on his bed, stuttering and trying to defend himself, but not knowing how to because, of course, Mai was, apparently, partially correct. 

“Although if that really happened, you wouldn’t even be alive now. You’d be swimming in the clouds of love heaven,” his best friend continued and he lost all control and threw the nearest object near him. Luckily, and given how weak he was, the only think he managed to throw was a pillow that only landed a few inches from 

The two of them continued bickering for a few good minutes about Taka being suddenly sick with fever and Mai being so intrusive of his life. 

“Sure I’m intrusive. I know you, and the Taka I know wouldn’t even step out of his house to see his best friend and would rather have her rot. But you,” she raised an eyebrow suggestively. 

“You already know why,” Taka huffed in surrender, placing the mug on his nightstand. 

“Tell me why, then.”

“Shut up. Don’t make me say it again,” the singer blurted, drowning deeper in his sea of blankets whilst feeling his cheeks growing warmer. “I hate it.”

“Why would you hate it? Doesn’t it feel nice? I saw you sing on stage and I know the way you performed so passionately and beautifully, God the sap is making me puke, is because of him. You like him and you like that he’s watching you in the crowd. I know for a fact that the greatness of your performance is solely attributed to your innate, talented ass, but I won’t deny his effect on you. I think you’ve never been that happy. You’ve never looked that happy.” Mai took a sip from her water bottle after that speech. 

Taka felt something trapped in his throat because whatever he did, he couldn’t seem to refute Mai. He wasn’t acknowledging what Mai said as the truth, but he thought that it may have some sense.

**

Taka was twelve years old when he first had a crush on the prettiest girl in his class. She was the perfect girl in his eyes—bright eyes, long hair, musical laughter, intelligent and pretty. The singer wasn’t particularly the popular type at school, but everybody knew him as the boy in Class 3 with a great voice and mad talent at guitar playing. And maybe that was what pushed him to confess his feelings to the girl. He had utter confidence and never denied himself of the crush that was blooming in his chest. 

But it turned out that she wasn’t interested. And that not everyone had the same heart as him and could reciprocate his feelings no matter how much good qualities he had and what things he was willing to do and sacrifice. 

He marked that experience as his first heartbreak and lesson. Not exactly the heartbreak of his life, but the first heartbreak always leaves an impression and lesson that last for a long time.  
It took years before Taka developed feelings for someone again. 

He was 19, a freshman university student and a budding musician, too. At night, he used to busk at a nearby park, hiding his face with a black mask as he performed. And she was always there during the nights he performed. Eventually, he fell for her endearing features. But even more so when she finally approached him for the first time and the heavens opened to swallow Taka alive (which was obviously just an exaggeration for how immense his infatuation was). Her beauty and kindness were almost heartbreaking, but Taka had allowed her to see past his mask. They were best friends for quite some time, but things on Taka’s side began starting to feel out of hand. His feelings were beginning to be uncontrollable, so he decided to confess to her on the night of his birthday—for dramatic effects. 

It didn’t turn out well, and it left a scar on his heart that just wouldn’t heal. Like a permanent tattoo on his cream skin.

***

_What’s so wrong about it?_

Mai’s words kept ringing in his head. Yea, what’s so wrong about it? What’s so wrong about having feelings?

What’s wrong? 

He scoffed. Everything would become wrong when there are feelings. Taka was so used to only hanging out, dating, making adventures with somebody else (anyone actually) like it’s his last day on earth. He wouldn’t develop feelings— he figured out a list of disadvantages when one would start harboring romantic emotios for someone. It would only lead to pain, and he didn’t like pain. And that was why no matter how many times his mother had urged him to bring home a girl, he was sure he would never— could never.  
So when the question escaped Mai’s mouth, Taka already knew the answer. 

“The bar manager said since you signed for 7 nights, you have to complete it. Obviously you can’t perform tonight, and the only option is to get well and perform tomorrow night to compensate before you can go back to Tokyo,” Mai explained, scanning through her phone. 

“That’s heartless,” he said under his breath.

The sun had set and Mai was annoyed at the amount of time she lost for sleep just to tend to Taka’s needs.

“Why don’t you call Toru-san and tell him about your situation? Maybe he won’t force you to perform that one night so you can rest before Tokyo,” she responded. 

Taka would be a liar if he said he hadn’t thought about that. He was even sure Toru would give it to him because they’re friends anyway. But he lost all his courage when he remembered the events from the early morning. How could he ask the blonde for a huge favor after he flat out rejected the guy?

To his defense, he didn’t literally flat out reject Toru. He was flustered from the kiss and his chest was pounding so hard that it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his mouth— all blood and veins. 

Toru was going to get married soon enough anyway. What was he compared to a daughter of a rich family? Even though Toru had practically confessed to him, he wasn’t dumb enough to fall for it. He knew his limitations and where he stood.  
He was just a stranger Toru met at a random ramen shop who was helping the blonde get out of his comfort zone and face the world.  
How romantic. 

“Can you shut up? I can hear you thinking,” Mai complained, attempting to take a nap before her night shift at work.

“I’m stressed, ok?”

“Because you’re a dumbass, that’s why. Just tell Toru-san you’re sick and can’t go tonight.”

“I’m dying, Mai.” He began whining. 

“Don’t be a drama queen and get over that hard crush! Seriously, I’ve never seen you this worked up over anything. You haven’t even confessed to him. He doesn’t know you like him yet, so just call him and tell him you can’t come tonight. Use the I’m-friends-with-the-owner card, shithead, and let me fucking sleep,” Mai blurted out without a pause, making Taka jolt in his place. 

All throughout the hours when Mai was asleep, Taka was having a hard time putting himself to bed. Every time he’d close his eyes, instead of flickering lights that danced in the vast sea of blackness behind his eyelids, all that appeared before him was the image of the blonde whose lips touched his— so softly and carefully. It wasn’t his first kiss— but it was his first _soft_ kiss. He really didn’t want to put Toru’s gender into the picture, but he couldn’t believe that he got that kind of kiss from a guy and not from a single one out of all the girls he had gone out with before.  
Maybe he just hadn’t noticed it before— maybe despite how close they were standing beside each other, it never crossed his mind. The tinge of pink on Toru’s lips, his adorable Cupid’s bow, the way the edges of his lips lift up to form a smile. Actually, now that he’s thinking about it, it might be his favorite part of Toru’s face. 

He ruffled his hair to shake of his thoughts. The more he filled his mind with Toru and the kiss, the heavier his chest began to weigh. 

Everything was just so wrong.

When Mai woke up, he was surprised to see that Taka had also dressed up for his last performance. He was obviously still down with fever, but Mai knew him very well not to stop him. 

“You can tell me what’s up after your performance,” Mai said, concern evident in her voice as she wore her coat and scarf, walking out the door to wait for Taka. 

“Sure. But please, look after me in case I collapse on stage,” he responded, laughing a little to lighten up the mood. “I really just need to get through this, 

“Of course, you do. Now, let’s go, the customers are waiting.” 

The two of them started walking to the bar, shivering against the touch of winter air. It might rain in a few hours, maybe minutes, but whatever it would take, the singer would cross. He didn’t wear his gloves again and he could feel his hands freezing ice cold in the pockets of his coat. There’s a slight scoff that escaped from his mouth, remembering a recent memory. 

They soon entered the bar, leaving the violence of winter behind the door. 

“I’m just gonna warm up,” Taka told Mai who was already heading to the bar counter. 

The crowd was still packed as it was the previous days. The dance floor was filled with people dancing, mingling, and screaming at each other. The bar was busy with customers lining up for some cocktails and whatnots. 

Soon enough, this would all be over and the next thing Taka would see would be steel chairs and wide table inside a well-ventilated college classroom instead of black leather couches and sticky silver tables. The next time he was going to be awake at this hour would be when he’s studying for an exam and not anticipating at the backstage for his on-stage performance.  
Soon enough, he’d be in Tokyo again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is it with love and departures? Do they always come hand in hand? Ehehe.
> 
> Anyway, Taka is having a crisis but do ya get where his crisis has grown from? Tell me about it. 
> 
> HAS ANYONE NOTICED HOW ACTIVE TORU CURRENTLY IS ON INSTAGRAM STORY??? SOON ENOUGH HE’S GONNA HAVE TO SHUT THE HELL UP AHAHAHA IT’S CUTE OK??? I just find it weird idkkk
> 
> Personal question though, has anyone of you gone to Fukuoka before? Can you recommend some artsy places I can visit? I just recently watched NCT 127’s Fly Away With Me self-made MV, and I really envied the aesthetics they put into it. Maybe I can pull it off if I go to some nice places in Fuk? IDRK but I wanna tryyy. (The MV was shot in the US tho js haha) 
> 
> Tell me what you think should happen next in this fic! Thanks for reading xx


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